Rich Man’s Wife
Quayeba: My first time in your inbox. Should I be worried or it’s safe in here? Lol
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Hehehe! Welcome!
Quayeba: Thank you. How are you?
DBM: I’m doing alright, thanks. How are you doing?
Quayeba: Fine. Where do I begin…
DBM: Lol!
Quayeba: I’m 36 years old. Been married for 7 years. I married a rich man. Not for love but to overcome the extreme poverty that marked my upbringing. Dave, my parents couldn’t afford to pay our bills. The kind of hardship I had to endure growing up poor affected the trajectory of my childhood as I went through life. I cannot count the number of jobs my parents had to work to be able to pay our school fees or feed us. That was why when I first looked at a picture of myself in junior high school and realized how beautiful I was, I was awestruck. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was like, everything else disappeared for me to have a mind shift. I wasn’t going to undervalue my appearance. I was a beautiful woman, and that was something I could use to escape poverty. All the men I’ve attracted and entertained have been rich or had extra money to spare. I didn’t really care if they slept with other women. It wasn’t an issue for me so long as he can provide me with a lifestyle that I wasn’t used to. I agreed to marry my husband because he could provide me the needed financial security. We live in a beautiful home and I get to go on luxury vacations with our children. My children get to live the life I never had growing up.
DBM: You have it all figured out, I guess?
Quayeba: Oh no, but I was willing to give my theory a chance.
DBM: Are you happy?
Quayeba: Dave, I am very happy with my life
DBM: Are you happily married?
Quayeba: Marriage is providing me and my children all the comfort and stability we need. I can’t complain. My conscience and dignity have an understanding with me. We don’t want to suffer or struggle anymore and it’s working for us so far.
DBM: … Till he trades you in for a younger chic
Quayeba: It won’t come to that
DBM: How do you know?
Quayeba: I know. Dave, I’ve weighed the costs and benefits and I have decided to come to terms with whatever my husband chooses to do with his dick out there.
DBM: I too grew up poor. Life wasn’t easy for me and my siblings. Life is still not easy but we are choosing to work hard to create careers for ourselves so we can have the kind of future we dream of; and also, be able to take care of our parents. Are your parents still alive?
Quayeba: My dad is dead but mother is here with me.
DBM: Well, good for you. Whatever makes you sleep at night is the end goal.
Quayeba: I sleep very well at night. I live a nice life. What else can a woman ask for?
DBM: Living a comfortable life on someone else’s money isn’t a safety net. Do you work?
Quayeba: I’m a full-time wife
DBM: Good for you. This is what I can say, men are not predictable beings. You wouldn’t want to continually risk being at the mercy of your husband’s money. Do you have a separate bank account you’re at least, stashing some cash for a rainy day?
Quayeba: I do
DBM: Great. My next concern is for the children
Quayeba: What about them?
DBM: What kind of energy are they absorbing from your dynamic with your husband? Because whatever examples you both are leading with in the marriage is setting a precedent of a sort. Your sons and daughters will grow up re-enacting the very same drama you and your husband are living or enduring.
Quayeba: At least, my daughter wouldn’t be poor
DBM: Because she would have learnt from you how to use men also for their money. She’s learning from her favorite and best teacher. You’re teaching her that every relationship ought to be transactional. You are teaching her how not accept mutual respect or to be respected in general by a man. Outside of her physical look, you’re also teaching her how valueless she could be. That is just for your daughter. Do you have a son?
Quayeba: I do
DBM: Tolerating your husband’s infidelity and witnessing his father get away with it is teaching him to grow into using women solely for his physical gratification. You two are teaching him how to disrespect women.
Quayeba: My children will not grow up poor. That is all that is important to me
DBM: How do you know?
Quayeba: You’ve not been following our chat? Their father is rich. We are rich
DBM: You are not rich. You’re living in the wins of an expensive gamble. You’re just another poor, beautiful woman with a lot of money at your disposal. Are you creating wealth for yourself and children, or you’re simply waiting on a will to be read after your husband’s demise?
Quayeba: The tone of the conversation is changing
DBM: Are you developing your financial intelligence? That is all I am asking. That, is wealth in my opinion.
Quayeba: How do you define rich since you know more about being a rich man’s wife than I do?
DBM: You’re thinking like the typical African. But again, what do I know!
Quayeba: Am asking a harmless question, Dave. How do you know I am rich?
DBM: I would have known you’re a rich woman if you had told me about your decision to train or learn something new, a skill or anything to improve yourself constantly. The philosophy you’ve introduced me to – about yourself is the fact that, a man has to give you money in order for you to take off.
Quayeba: I have a degree in Business Administration that I don’t use
DBM: Anyways, let’s get back to your story. Why did you reach out to me?
Quayeba: My friend just found out about my husband’s infidelities and is angry that I’ve known all this while and done nothing about it. She doesn’t know I chose this life. She doesn’t also know that I have my own side cock I take on a wild ride every now and then.
DBM: It’s very interesting how you just elaborated the shipwreck of a childhood you survived, only for you to jump on another ship without a lifeboat.
Quayeba: What do you mean?
DBM: Do make it your best day today. I have a meeting to prepare for.
Image Credit: Cristina Cunha
