Let’s Talk To Pike
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 141: Pike
DBM: Hello Pike. How would you describe yourself?
Pike: Married, father, and a banker
DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
Pike: 6
DBM: What do you want to talk about?
Pike: My wife’s close friends hate my guts. They didn’t like me before and after marrying their friend. I tried influencing her association with them for some time but she’s back in their circle again.
DBM: Why don’t you like them?
Pike: They’re toxic and immature, even though she says they have always had her back.
DBM: What does your wife make of your circle of friends?
Pike: She has no problem with my friends
DBM: She knows all of your friends?
Pike: No
DBM: She approves of all of your friends?
Pike: She doesn’t get to do that. Also, my friends positively impact my life
DBM: What are your expectations of her friendship with her girlfriends?
Pike: I have none. I just don’t want them around her. My wife has a good heart, but her friends are problematic – in my opinion.
DBM: Why do you think they also do not see eye-to-eye with you?
Pike: Because I speak the truth, and they are jealous of my wife
DBM: Jealous, how?
Pike: They want what she has
DBM: As in, you?
Pike: And everything else I bring to the table
DBM: How is it possible for someone to not like you, but want you at the same time?
Pike: It happens
DBM: What’s on the table at the moment?
Pike: Comfortable living, two homes, cars, financial security, beautiful marriage, etc.
DBM: You’re the full package, I guess?
Pike: I try
DBM: Have you tried seeing things from their perspective?
Pike: They don’t have a clear perspective
DBM: But you do of them?
Pike: I’ve dealt with such people before.
DBM: The people you’ve dealt with aren’t them
Pike: I know, but if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.
DBM: Is it possible that you may simply be misunderstanding their thought processes?
Pike: Dave, these are very loud, vile and unmarried girls
DBM: How about the possibility of you seeing them in a negative light, simply because you may unconsciously be feeling insecure about your relationship with your wife?
Pike: That’s not the case, unfortunately. I just know they’re not good people
DBM: Why do you think your wife loves their company?
Pike: I don’t know Dave. I don’t know what she sees in them
DBM: How long have they known each other?
Pike: Since they were in school, I think.
DBM: On the average, is she choosing her friends over you?
Pike: No
DBM: Does she seem to care about your concerns about them?
Pike: I’ve told her
DBM: And?
Pike: She still keeps in touch with them.
DBM: What kind of compromise are you expecting of her to make?
Pike: I want her to simply end that friendship
DBM: What boundaries have you set thus far?
Pike: They’re not allowed to step foot in my house. Dave, these are ladies I don’t like
DBM: For reasons best known to you, no?
Pike: For reasons everyone knows; they are rude, and overall, bad influence on my wife. They date married men and make it seem cool.
DBM: How long have you been married?
Pike: 11 years
DBM: Have you cheated on your wife before?
Pike: That’s a personal question. I choose not to answer
DBM: Have you tried engaging them to know what their individual interests are, or even just to endure them firsthand?
Pike: No
DBM: What then is the basis of your understanding of who they are?
Pike: I’ve heard the kinds of conversations they have with my wife. She’s usually on phone with them on loud speaker. I have also read some of their WhatsApp conversations
DBM: Your wife made you read them?
Pike: No
DBM: Why do you have and keep your circle of friends?
Pike: You already asked this question
DBM: I have?
Pike: Yes
DBM: Oh, okay! But what answer did you give to the question?
Pike: They a good influence on me, and I can trust them
DBM: What are your unique qualities?
Pike: I’m mature, kind, supportive, intelligent, passionate, hardworking, ambitious, friendly, thoughtful, reliable, caring and confident
DBM: The confident people I have ever come across do not seek to bring others down. They’re rather too busy working on their own territories. They’re also naturally, very open-minded and will tolerate whomever and their way of being. Nothing you do reflects or projects on them negatively. Do you see your wife to be confident?
Pike: Yes
DBM: Do you trust the mother of your children?
Pike: I do
DBM: Participant 140, Zoey, left a question for you: ‘What would you think if your woman spent more time on his looks than on you?’
Pike: It will bother me. I like some attention on me too. It’s a way to show how much my wife loves me. I love my wife very much, and so I find ways to show how much she means to me. One of the simplest ways I express this – is by paying attention to her and her needs.
DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant
Pike: Do you believe in keeping your enemies even closer?
DBM: Thank you!
Image Credit: Any Lane
