Let’s Talk To Akos

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 36: It’s Akos for the meantime.

DBM: Hi Akosua. Please tell me a little about yourself

Akos: I am my own boss and I set my own schedule. I’ve not given up any amount of my freedom because of marriage. I am in control of my sexual liberation; I warm the minds, bodies and wallets of my clients; I own a beauty shop; 37 years of age, and holds a Master’s in Cosmetic Science and Technology from the Beijing Technology and Business University.

DBM: I’ve spoken to four of your best friends. Did you read my conversations with them?

Akos: I read everything.

DBM: And?

Akos: You invited us to present our true selves to you and your readers, and they shared exactly that; their opinions, feelings, desires and needs. I’m here to also speak for myself.

DBM: How important is education to you and your friends?

Akos: It’s our fundamental rights, whether we have sex with men or not. We’ve gained the relevant skills in our various specialties to enable us offer services to others, and most importantly, earn a livelihood. And our joint agreement as friends was to at least, get our Master’s degrees. So far, so good.

DBM: Are you in a relationship?

Akos: Yes!

DBM: And he knows you keep other men company for money?

Akos: He does

DBM: He’s okay with it?

Akos: He actually supports my work. He understands the importance of making a man feel chirpy and cheerful.

DBM: How did you meet?

Akos: He was a client, and he fell in love with me. He says, with me he feels desired and wanted. And I give him more than just sex.

DBM: What could be more than sex?

Akos: Pleasure

DBM: Was he single when you first met?

Akos: He is not married.

DBM: Okay?

Akos: I work very hard, so he helps me to relax and feel good about myself.

DBM: What does he do for a living?

Akos: He’s a medical doctor

DBM: Help me understand how he gets to be okay with the type of work you do

Akos: After he expressed interest in me, I asked him how many people he had had sex with. His answer was more than 80.

DBM: When was this?

Akos: 2017

DBM: And, how old was he?

Akos: 33

DBM: How many men had you slept with by then?

Akos: Probably half of his figure.

DBM: Are you in love with him?

Akos: I think so

DBM: Do you always give in to his sexual demands?

Akos: No! It’s not everyday that I find him sexually appetizing. But I am always the one who comes back and suggests we fuck, after the no.

DBM: Is he also sleeping with other people?

Akos: He is, but it’s commitment-free with them. He is constantly checking out other ladies and flirting excessively with them. He loves getting close to pretty girls.

DBM: It doesn’t bother you?

Akos: I’m okay with the fact that he makes time for me. He answers the phone any time I call; even when he’s on top of another woman – he will answer my call. He returns home to me at the end of the day; he is interested in my life and what I do with it; he adds so much more than depth and bliss to my 24/7 living. He understands and receives my love and care for him; he’s present to me during hard times; he pays attention to my concerns, always encouraging me to chase after my dreams; we love to discus our sexual exploits after we’ve been with different people; he understands I love being in the company of different men, and he contributes a lot to our relationship and home. What else do I want? He makes me laugh.

DBM: So, he’s emotionally available to you?

Akos: He opens up to me. He’s made me see him and know him for who he is. He’s introduced me to his mother and brothers; he includes my opinions in his thought processes and I think he trusts me.

DBM: Do you trust him?

Akos: I can count on the fact that he’s going to screw up, but he’s also the kind of man who is going to dust himself off after messing up just to make it right by me. We’re both freaking out about our feelings for each other, but the thing is there.

DBM: What thing?

Akos: Love.

DBM: How did he introduce you to his family

Akos: He just said, this is the lady I can’t stop thinking about

DBM: That’s sweet

Akos: Dave, I love myself enough to want to love this guy. I believe in true love, and I think when my man stares right in my face, I see love in his eyes if I don’t look the other way. I used to be scared of falling in love.

DBM: What about love scared you?

Akos: I didn’t know how to place myself in a vulnerable situation where I could be easily hurt. I was also skeptical about getting what I had always hoped for, and probably messing it all up. What I share with this guy is everything that I’ve ever imagined for my soul mate. He gets me, and I get him.

DBM: Is marriage something of interest to the both of you?

Akos: No! He’s already adding value to my life. Marriage will only complicate things for me

DBM: How so?

Akos: I am not sexually exclusive to him; I don’t have eyes for only him. My crazy imaginations and sexual intimacies are not with only him.

DBM: How about children?

Akos: I don’t want any. He has a child though.

DBM: At what age did you start being with other men?

Akos: Early twenties.

DBM: Your family is aware of what you do?

Akos: They know I own a beauty shop.

DBM: What has been your worst experience with a client?

Akos: I was booked by a murderer who wasn’t interested in any bullshit cuddling; just wild, nasty, sweaty sex for an hour. He gave me a bag full of money after he finished; it was weird for someone to pay so much money for an hour. The following week, I read in the newspaper about his arrest for killing his girlfriend the afternoon of the evening we met.

DBM: What was his story?

Akos: His girlfriend had cheated on him with his best friend.

DBM: How did that make you feel?

Akos: I took out my sexual frustration on my boyfriend and fucked him till we broke the bed.

DBM: How is that therapeutic?

Akos: Rough sex can sometimes be my coping mechanism. It helps me heal and find peace from moment to moment.

DBM: When a client is ugly, or a total turn off, how do you manage?

Akos: Money talks, and fortunately for me, I speak its language

DBM: Does your job have any effect on the intimate relationship you have with your boyfriend?

Akos: I fake orgasms with most of the clients. I reach real orgasm with my man

DBM: Does it ever get boring?

Akos: With clients?

DBM: Yes

Akos: It happens; it comes with the territory

DBM: What’s your long-term goal?

Akos: I have plans to retire, and have established a lifetime income stream that equals my expenses. I also have a few investments and rental properties.

DBM: Does the thought of contracting an STI never occur to you?

Akos: I practice safe sex and personal hygiene

DBM: What if the condom slips off or tears during intercourse?

Akos: I take numerous showers every day; I wash my lower body with water after sex of any kind. I always urinate and wash the outside of my vagina with water. And luckily for me, my general practitioner is the guy I wake up next to, every morning.

DBM: If you could go back in time to choose a future career all over again…

Akos: My experience with men has taught me that, guys are generally not good with their own feelings. And women are not entirely naïve about what our men want from us. I like getting paid to provide comfort, warmth and care. I feel good when a client tells me, I’ve brought him to order. It’s not an easy job to opt for; it requires more thought in order not to take a step in the wrong direction.

DBM: Do you always say yes to a job order?

Akos: I don’t put needless pressure on myself because of money. I have said no a lot of the time for safety’s sake. I protect my time and energy when I decline these clients.

DBM: Do you think a man will ever be content with one woman?

Akos: A man whose desire to protect surges when he thinks about the one person he cares about, will shield his love interest from any form of pain. They will never consider deliberately wounding their spouse, because they know their wives deserve better. These are the kinds of men women should go for – because they’re content with what they see in them.

DBM: Are you happy with your life and the choices you’ve made thus far?

Akos: For me, it’s the littlest things that makes me feel happy; when I am able to spot the positive in a situation; when I win a new client over and he’s unable to stop smiling; when I am able to overcome a challenge; the fact that I can forgive myself for my mistakes; when I am able to try something new that freaks me out at the same time; and when I give myself so much love.

Image Credit: Bella Zhong