Let’s Talk To Alexa

This phone interview was engineered by the mother of Alexa. She wanted me to have a conversation with her daughter to know her mind. Alexa’s mother’s first husband was Pop. The union produced Joey and Toni. Her second marriage was to Alexa’s father, Nigel. Now, she’s divorced and engaged to her third guy, Charles. This phone interview between David Bondze-Mbir and Alexa was recorded, and has been transcribed verbatim for publication.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 81: I would say Alexa

DBM: Hi Alexa. How would you describe yourself?

Alexa: Kind, smart and a polite child

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Alexa: Errrm, probably 7 😀 Please don’t ask me why; I have no idea.

DBM: So, how would you describe your mum?

Alexa: Kind, respectful; I’m trying to figure out a word for someone who ‘stands out’ but I have no words – vibrant.

DBM: Oh my! Hehehe. How about your dad, how would you describe him?

Alexa: Errrm, strong; what’s like a word for like always working hard? Hardworking, busy… he’s very busy. Sometimes I feel bad to think he has anger issues. He’s like a shadow; he doesn’t like standing out like my mum

DBM: Tell me a little about your sisters

Alexa: Well… well. Hehehe. I was waiting for that. It’s going to take me a long time. Errrm, Joey, she’s sometimes bossy. And, she likes to run a lot, so I’d say sometimes energetic but she really does not like to take photos, neither does Toni. Errm, Toni, she’s strong. Joey is also strong, but she’s strong and … I’m thinking of words: polite to other people. And, she’s mean to me. Errm, yeah! But she’s sometimes kind to me.

DBM: Do you believe your parents love you?

Alexa: Well, yes. And, I really like remember, I think it was last night, I’m not sure. Last night or the night before, I said that my mommy likes Charles more than me. And now I know that mommy can’t love anyone else more than us. She can love someone else but not more than us. I know that my daddy loves me. Just that sometimes I think he doesn’t when he’s shouting at me. Pops I think loves me too. No one is leaving me

DBM: Have any of your friends’ parent gotten a divorce?

Alexa: Hehehe. Yes! Errm, Corey. Err Corey, she’s… Yeah, so her parents have gotten a divorce. They’re actually divorced and her mum is going out with another person. And she doesn’t call him dad. She calls her first dad, dad. I feel sad that my parents are getting a divorce because I don’t want them to split up. I fear that someday, my daddy will just leave us and I won’t see him. But my parents have promised me that we are all going to be staying together as one family.

DBM: Have you had nightmares about what’s going on between your parents?

Alexa: Nah, I haven’t had nightmares. Because I’m not that scared of it. But I feel I will in the future because I have heard other children do have nightmares after their parents’ divorce.

DBM: Will you let both parents know any time you get hurt at the thought of them not being together?

Alexa: Yes, because I know that mummy can fix it; mummy or daddy will help me when I am upset.

DBM: When you grow up, how would you want to see your own family? As in, your idea of the kind of family you would want to have when you grow up?

Alexa: I want to be rich. And I want to be famous, but I consider my family in future to be a very happy family; all of us living together happily, nothing sad. Sometimes arguing, because I know we will sometimes argue but we will have a good resolve, I know. Hehehe. Because me and my family have a lot of differences. But we are still family, no matter what.

DBM: Okay, that’s cool. How do you think your siblings are taking this whole decision your parents have made? Do you think they understand why mommy is no longer with your dad, and why she feels she’s happier now with someone else? Do you kids understand what is really going on? Has mom and dad sat you all down to explain what is going on, and why they feel they have to make such a decision?

Alexa: Errrm, that’s a lot of things you just asked. I understand it. I am not sure if my other sisters understand. I am pretty sure Joey understands it, but I will tell you one thing; I already knew about it before mommy told me. I was literally on her iPad doing my thing, and then I just wanted to look at some pictures of mommy. So, I went over to the photos, and I saw a letter, a Valentine card. And it said… errrm, I forgot. But then a few days later, I saw a picture of mommy and Charles, talking to each other. So, I was like, ‘hmmmm! I smell something fishy’. Hehehe. So then, I went to tell Toni. I told her, ‘I think mommy is going to marry a different man.’ When we figured out that she was going to divorce my father, errrm, Toni was like, ‘what the hell!’ I was correct. As in, I’ve never been correct in my whole entire life. It really was going to happen after all, and that was just a miracle to her. My sister was very surprised that I guessed right. And, I think my daddy was also thinking of someone else after their divorce; because when I am watching him, especially when he was with my mother, he was texting someone else. It was a girl. And they were exchanging love-heart emojis between themselves.

DBM: Wow! That’s very interesting. Okay, so if you could tell your mom and dad one thing, what would it be?

Alexa: Errrm, I’d say to daddy, I feel you are very jealous of Charles. And I’ve also noticed that he’s sad about it like I am, but it’s the best for mommy. Because if my mommy stays with my dad, she would be sad and probably, not happy. That will also not make daddy happy. And to my mommy, I’d say, ‘why did you make this decision?’Arrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhh! ‘Why did you make this decision?’ I am not saying mommy should leave Charles and go back to my daddy, but she can. Anyways, I am pretty sure that as long as we all stay happy, I am okay. Because I am happy. Yeah! I am okay that she’s in love with someone else, but I would prefer mommy and daddy not getting a divorce. If I had a magic wand, I would figure out a way to make everyone else happy. But I would try to figure out how to make the three of us, me, mommy and daddy very happy. I am not as happy as I was before their divorce. I know my daddy is not as happy as he was before the divorce. But my mommy is definitely happy. She likes Charles very much. She talks to him every single day. She likes talking to him. Is that obsession?

DBM: Lol! Please clarify this for me; do you understand the fact that because your mom and dad want to be happy, they cannot be together?

Alexa: Errrm, yes, I do understand. Mommy made the decision. I don’t know why daddy agreed to it. Errrm, I feel very disappointed in them. Especially in my dad for agreeing to a divorce. Bla… bla… bla. I know mom would not have been happy, but I can make her happy. Well, I cannot be her husband. But I don’t think she even needs a husband to be happy. It’s literally like saying, a woman needs money to be happy.

DBM: Thank you Alexa. How old are you?

Alexa: I am eight. I hope we would do this again, because it was really fun. I think mommy is now going to ask me a million questions. But thank you. I also want to say, I wish my middle sister, Toni loves me more, or show that she loves me more. Mummy keeps insisting Toni loves me very much but she does not always behave like she loves me.

Image Credit: Monstera