Tag: Love

Date Me! (Part 2)

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Dave, how are you doing? My husband extends his warmest greetings. We read all the comments on my story on your Facebook. Thank you, again for sharing our story.

“Date who?” I made a somber face with a dismissive wave and gaped back at him.

“Date me! I was just thinking about you for the first time in a way I have never thought of” he said

“This is weird.” I cried

“I know it’s so weird but it’s so perfect.” He laughed “Because you have been rejected by the man you love doesn’t mean you won’t find someone who loves you.”

“You love me?” I freaked out

“Yeah!” he said simply. “Sometimes I am not sure what I feel for you when I see you at work. I mean, I know you’re not crazy about me.”

“I am not!” my face started to darken as I began to cry for real – for real. I was so confused I couldn’t catch my breath. My boss then begun to tell me a story. He said he hired me because at my job interview with his panel, I told him it was my job description to set a strategic direction for his company. Apparently, what I said touched him because none of his employees had made such a forward-thinking viewpoint. They all were assuming it was his responsibility as the CEO, to be clear about his company’s strategy.

What he was saying was true though. I always have a clear outlook about the big picture vison for any organization I have worked with, while also knowing and understanding how my role helps or would help to bring about that vision. My boss stopped talking when we heard an announcement being made by the pastor that there was not going to be a wedding. Dave, it was mortifying. My boss placed the key in the ignition and turned it all the way to start the engine of the car. He pushed the clutch pedal down, and then moved the gear stick into first. We could hear the keyboardist playing music while it slowly wafted away. We sat in the car in dead silence as he drove off.

As we drove down the bumpy road to his house, he kept assuring me, “Bernice, you don’t always have to find love. Sometimes, it finds you.” I didn’t want to say anything but I had to ask what marriage meant to him. He shared how sacred his marriage to his late wife was. He described it as pure as it could be. There was no room for mistrust, manipulation or dishonesty. The energy they shared was positive and mutual enough to lift each other up. They supported and encouraged each other to the end of one.

“I don’t want much when it comes to marriage. Just care for me, Bernice, and I promise to love you. You don’t have to even love me.” he said, “You already let me be myself at work. We’re adults here: you’ve become my good friend with whom I know I can comfortably share anything about myself with.”

My former boss was my friend. He was right. I hadn’t thought of him as a friend because I usually treat every conversation with an employer like a conversation with a consular officer. I give as little information and only what they ask. Secondly, I felt it generally wasn’t the best idea to be friends with him. I have seen similar relationships in the past where colleagues built personal relationships with their employers or bosses, it made things complicated when the boss had to make very difficult decisions. Being a leader at the workplace myself, I am accountable for only results; my performance and the performances of those I supervise. I didn’t want to put myself in a situation whereby my employer’s desire to do right by me would conflict his responsibility to his job and company.

We got to his house and guess who was waiting for us in front of his gate? My ex-fiancé. He knew I could be there because we had been invited to his home, three months prior to be offered his services as our personal chauffer. He was crying. My boss lowered the car windows of my side for me to hear him out. He explained his reasons for standing me up; he wasn’t 100% sure about his true feelings for me. He was confused and didn’t know how to tell me the truth. He told me ardently that he wasn’t sure he wanted to go ahead with our relationship, six months prior. Dave, the issue is, I accidentally found the engagement ring he had bought for me in the pockets of one of his trousers when I was doing his laundry, six months prior. In fact, I thought it was all part of his proposal ‘discovery’ plan.

Unfortunately, I found out on my wedding day it wasn’t. He said he had thought about it and realized it wouldn’t be fair to me, knowing very well the mother of his unborn child also loved him. To make the long story short, he did not have the heart to explain what was going on in his life to me. My boss was so enraged, he got out of the car and walked towards him to punch him in the face. My fiancé didn’t attempt fighting back. He was just upset and he cried. He felt scared and ashamed of what he had done to me. He apologized and called his uncle and mother to gather his family to go to my family house to dissolve our traditional marriage and take their drinks back.

Dave, my anger wouldn’t even escalate as I watched and listened to him call his family. “We’ll talk later” was all I could say. Our wedding hadn’t even happened yet and I was already beat and tired of being the center of attention.

“We will talk later, Bernice.” He responded, taking me by the wrist. I could sense he was emotionally hurt. It was upsetting for me to think the one person I loved wanted to hurt me this way. I felt there was more to him than his behavior. He had been a stringer all along and I couldn’t see it. Honestly, I was never coming on too strong in our relationship. He was the one who hadn’t made up his mind about us. He was the one telling me anything that would get me to stick around without his needing to seriously commit to me. I fell for it, unfortunately for four years. But I was not going to cry about it and be wandering in my boss’s house in my pyjamas. There was no point in trying to feel or describe to him the pain I felt when reality finally sank in.

We left my ex-fiancé behind the gate and entered the house. My boss showed me my room. He helped me to get out of the wedding gown and showed me his late wife’s closet for me to select something to wear. When I joined him in the living room wearing his wife’s dress, he gawked at me for long. Wearing a dead woman’s dress in her husband’s house taught me that there is more to love than just fate. I could see he adored me in that dress.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked

“You can’t see what I am seeing?” he responded

“What do you see?” I wondered

“I don’t see the wound inflicted on you today at the Chapel by your fiancé. The scar is slightly marked on your face but it’s also a testament that wounds heal. I’m so attracted to you right now, Bernice.” He kept staring

I was surprised in that moment to realize I wasn’t actually even the least upset with his comment. I found myself oddly thankful for the worst thing that ever happened to my hopes and dreams. Because, inside that house was a living witness inspiring me not to cling on too tightly to my past memories, else, I may never heal. Dave, my boss is a man I dearly respect. Professionally speaking, he is the success I aspire to achieve in my dreams. In other words, he was the man of my dreams. So, listening to the ‘man’ of my dreams say to me, I am the woman of his dreams had to mean something. Afterall, we had been working together long enough for him to know if he really wanted to make that earnest commitment.

All of the day’s happenings flushed down the drain when he told me how much he loved me and wanted to marry me. I was in shock, to say the least. But beyond the shock, it was comical. I laughed in his face and told him how silly he sounded. I mean, he had to be kidding me, right?

“No, I am not kidding you, Bernice.” He responded

Oh, now he could read my mind too? “You mean now?” I gasped

“Not right now. You can take as much time as you need but do not forget marriage is on the table” he said.

My ex-fiancé and I hadn’t spoken in a month to one another, and I just wanted the entire chapter of our story to read itself off. He called me out of the blue to meet over lunch, under a more relaxed circumstance. I got to the location on time and he arrived late. It was supposed to be a casual meet but he came holding rose flowers and an engagement ring box. He wanted to ask me to marry him again. According to him, he realized he could not lose me even if he wanted to.

By the way, did I mention my boss had brough his family to meet my family to ask for my hand in marriage, exactly one month after proposing to me? We did the traditional marriage and signed in court. So, as at the time my ex was asking me to forgive and marry him again, I had my husband’s rings on. My ex saw my rings on my ring-finger and almost mistook it for his, till he had a second look at the 18CT Yellow/White Gold 1.00ct Diamond Ring. My husband was supposed to be waiting for me in the car but he joined us at the table. When he approached me, I swear his hug and touch was electric. I was smitten, and immediately knew I was done with my ex.

Dave, life often presents us with challenges that come dressed as openings. An example of such an opportunity is when I made the decision to quit a previous job that looked down on my contributions, to take on a lower position and role at my husband’s company. The initial compensation amount offered me was less than the money I expected, desired or previously received elsewhere. It seemed like I was failing myself but then, I worked hard enough to turn it into a doorway to a more fulfilling career. I rose through the ranks over the years to the extent that, what once seemed like an end, suddenly, looked like a fresh beginning. It was through this new job that I uncovered potentials I didn’t know I had. My initial disappoint actually was a catalyst to a whole new world of journeys yet untraveled.

Just like everyone else I’ve had those moments I doubted my decisions in love, and even wondered if I had made good to what was deserving of me. I am a good and honest woman. I am very loving and authentic. I am deserving of a man who has done the inner work to figure out who he is, what he wants, who he wants, what his purpose is, and what his needs are. I am deserving of a man who has taught himself about the good in himself. I am deserving of my husband’s love. I am deserving of my two beautiful teenage kids with him. I am deserving of every year spent with him in these past 16 years of our lives together.

Image Credit: Alexander Mass

The Waakye Seller

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Good evening, David. I want to share my love story but keep me anonymous. I have been married to the same woman for 16 years. She’s the lady seated next to me on my profile picture. I have not known any other woman but her. Before I met my wife, I was always praying for the perfect woman to marry. My wife used to sell waakye for her madam. She helped her cook it and then, she would come and sell. She had set her shop in a busy area near where I used to work.

I always thought she was beautiful but never gathered the courage to tell her. I was one of her loyal customers and she knew exactly how much I was going to spend every time it reached my turn to be served. We got to that stage of knowing each other on a first name basis. She was very popular in the neighborhood because of two things; the food was good and she was pretty. Every guy wanted to buy from her. I got jealous a few times I was in line to buy waakye because she knew almost all the guys by their first names. And the kinds of cars that would park by the roadside just to buy waakye. I felt some of the men wanted to flex with their rides just to catch her attention.

I was next in queue behind a ‘big’ man she was attending to who was asking her a number of personal questions. The man was assuring he could provide nice things for her if she would agree to date him. When I heard him say that, I remembered I also dress to look good just for her. It wasn’t completely for waakye or work. All the corporate guys in the queue were saying the right things and doing the right things to catch her attention. She finished serving the ‘big’ man and for the first time she asked, ‘Kwabena, what do you want?’

She realized I was fuming with jealousy. I wondered what she meant by ‘what did I want!’ Because she had already started topping my usual order with stew, eggs, gari, wele, shito and salad; wrapped in the banana leaf. She handed my food to me, took the money and whispered, “I want to know how you feel. I want to connect with your heart. All I desire is security and trust.”

From that day, I knew I had to pursue her because she was valuable enough to catch my full attention. She saw me beyond the customer she had retained. The fact that she liked me too made me want to be the perfect man for her at all cost. My focus shifted that day on the kind of life I wanted to live, and most importantly, the kind of boyfriend and husband I wanted to be. My favorite waakye seller was an amazing woman and I had to become an amazing man in order to love her well.

I have been a man of my word in the 16 years we’ve been together in holy matrimony. Not once have I dropped a vow because a beautiful woman gave me attention and opportunity. Not once have I considered backing out on my marriage or family or commitments. When we officially decided to be exclusive, I stopped flirting with other women. I was no longer casual texting or communicating with old and new flames. I stopped my eyes from lingering and wandering.

Some of us grew up watching parents do marriage anyhow. My father did not know how to do marriage right with my mother, and because of that, could not teach me what they did not know. So, when I got married, I made a decision to love everything about my waakye seller. The sacrifices this woman has made for me and our children; even how she runs our household. Whenever she shows up for me with intimacy, I am nothing but excited and happy to be one with her. Dave, my wife knows she cannot fail with me by her side and I am always validating and appreciating the little she does for me and the children. Not once have I made her feel unattractive. She’s beautiful and sexy and she’s comfortable flaunting all her assets before me. I have no expectations about how the mother of my children should look, perform in bed or even behave. We should not be the men burdening our wives because I am not.

Image Credit: Darkshade Photos

Landing A Rich Man

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David, how are you doing? So, I am going to try to be as honest as possible to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth; so, help me God. There came a time in my life that I had to reinvent myself with the sole aim of landing a rich man. I needed to be a rich man’s wife because I was sick and tired of being a bank teller. I felt like I also deserved to eat at top restaurants and drink the finest wines. I have been married for six years and my husband is filthy loaded. I targeted him because he has crazy money. Luckily for me, he is very attractive too.

I had been playing under the guise of just wanting a man who had his shit together but that wasn’t the whole truth. Though I wouldn’t consider myself to be shallow, I have a hunger for the finer things in life. I love life. I love money. I love to dress good. I love to smell good. I love jewelry. I love great shoes and bags. I want to co-own a beautiful house. I want to drive nice car. I want my children to have everything I never had. And I came to realize later on that, most rich men are willing to pay for someone extremely beautiful and nice to look at and also, fuck.

Love clearly isn’t the most important thing to me. I am a very beautiful woman and I know what the tradeoffs are when dealing with some of these guys with serious money and assets. What I found attractive about miŋɛ was the fact that his utterances weren’t the type that had to buy a fantasy of a better version of himself. He didn’t like talking about or flaunting his wealth. He was just like the everyday person and wasn’t doing or saying too much to make lesser folks feel jealous.

We bumped into each other at a mutual friend’s destination wedding and I could tell he was rich. He smelled rich. He looked simple and average but his demeanor was rich. I needed to test my assumption, and so, I walked towards him with a question, ‘Hello. My name is …. Can you give me an advice on money?’ He smiled with a confused look on his face but I wasn’t smiling back at him. I pretended to be serious and interested to learn. He gave a simple response, “Make sure the money coming in your bank account each month is way higher than the money going out.” I thanked him and politely walked away.
I didn’t speak with him again throughout the reception. When I got to my hotel that evening, there were lovely flowers and a card waiting for me, telling me how beautiful I looked and his willingness to want to teach me more about financial independence if I was still interested. The card had his phone number. I don’t know how he did it, but he managed to find information about me to locate me with beautiful flowers. We talked on phone so many times in a day for two months before asking me to marry him.

He made me understand he had been single because his main goal and focus was to make money. Due to that, he avoided ladies and had never seriously gotten involved in dating anyone. Now that his wealth is wealthing, he was ready to find true love. His proposal caught me off guard. I wasn’t ready to be proposed to. He told me how much he loved me and I had to tell him how calculating I was during the wedding reception. It was just his money and dick I was after and nothing else. I was expecting him to disrespect me, especially being from a lower class but no. He did not disregard or disrespect me for being poor and calculating. Instead, he offered me a dream to live in the present. Dave, sometimes, I wake up at dawn to pinch myself as reminder of how lucky I am in this life.

The day I walked down the aisle, we both knew I wasn’t marrying for love, and he was okay with that. He understood how much I cared for him as a person but was in love with his money. We built a happy relationship on his wealth for three years before I started falling in love with him naturally. The day I told him I believed I was falling in love with him was the first time I ever saw him cry. He told me he suspected I was falling in love with him because apparently, I had been flirting with him for months and was showing genuine signs of wanting to be with him.
Though I was contributing nothing to the table then, he still saw me as his equal.

Image Credit: Kebs-Visuals

Someone Someone Hugs

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Dave, it’s my turn to share my love story. I have been married for 14 good years. Before I got married, I was spending more of my time with people who were either twice or thrice my age, despite being in my 30’s. And for some strange reason, I couldn’t get along well with people my age. I felt I was missing something anytime I was in the company of my peers. I found conversations with people in my generation boring and uninspiring.

I met my wife through her grandfather. He was my former teacher in Senior Secondary School. I had moved to a new neighborhood and I found out from an old school mate that he lived in the area. He was my economics teacher. He could not remember who I was but he was one of my favorite teachers. We connected somehow, and he introduced me to some of his circle of friends. I was invited to their weekend gatherings and activities, and over time, became friends with all of them.

I loved hearing them share their work experiences with me and how they were living as retirees. When it came to the subject of love and relationship, I learned a whole lot from their stories. Their individual choices, decisions and affairs intrigued me. They had lived their best and worst lives and had dealt with their fair share of the consequences thence. Because I was interested in everything they had to say, they shared all the life advice they felt I needed to hear.

I was at work one day when I got a call from a lady. “My grandfather has been diagnosed with cancer”. She introduced herself and asked if I could come to the hospital. I got to know at the hospital it was the last-stage cancer because it had gone undetected for years. He was scheduled to go for surgery to get the tumor removed and I had to be the one reassuring his only granddaughter. She felt so dejected because her grandpa was very healthy at his age. There was no assurance given that he would come out alive.

My phone rang one midnight and for the first time in my adult life, I felt that empty pit of severe ache in my stomach. She had confirmed my biggest fear. Her grandfather was gone. Dave, I was unprepared for her bereavement because I didn’t know anything about her. I only knew her grandfather. I rushed to the hospital to support her while she waited in pain for her parents to arrive from Krobo Odumase.

There was nothing I could do or say at that moment to make her stop crying. I walked to her, held her in my arms for so long, and then hugged her so tight. Her eyes locked on me gently while I held her close, doing the best I could to calm her fears away. It was that one act of hugging away her tears and grief that it dawned on me; I wanted to be someone that someone wants to hug. Dave, imagine you knew that lady you briefly locked eyes with at the hospital was actually praying for a man like you to come into her life?

I married her because she knew how to be honest with me without hurting my feelings. She also gives really good hugs. She lets me eat off of her plate. I can be myself around her. Her personality is genuine. She’s smart and brings me closer to God. And the best part, we can have fun doing absolutely nothing. I also realized later on, she was the first person I wanted to look at when I woke up in the morning. I can confidently tell you today that for the past 14 years, anytime I am about to leave the house, I hug my wife for a whole minute. And when I return home, she hugs me for a minute before we talk about anything else.

Image Credit: Polina Tankilevitch 

Make An Offer

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David, I have been married to Sefakor for 10 years. We talked about the possibility of a marriage when we were dating. I have to admit that there were times I doubted our relationship. There were times that I strongly felt like it could work. The marriage I have today, 10 years later looks very much different from the marriage I thought I was going to have with my wife when we were boyfriend-girlfriend. I was the fast and furious type. A fuckboy who could masquerade as a woman’s prince charming, develop strong connection and feelings, only for the flame to fizzle out after I had a bite or two.

Right from day 1 when we first met, she made me understand that she wasn’t going to subject herself to any kind of unhappy situationship with me. She wasn’t going to waste her time with a man who did not deem it fit to earn and keep her trust. Dave, this was Day 1, and I hadn’t even suggested anything to the tune of me liking her. The women I used to chase were the types I could tell something today, and then do something entirely different tomorrow, and would get away with it. Sefakor’s encounter with me the first day I laid eyes on her left me scratching my head in confusion.

I was so confused and found the whole conversation funny, I left her office to my car, sat in the car for about 20 minutes laughing at myself. The next thing I realized, I had gone back to her office to ask for her number. The player in me felt challenged to come up with an optimal strategy, a clever way not to date her but rather maximize the likelihood of satisfaction. At least I thought I had such a formula.

I called her the following evening, talked for about an hour on the phone and then asked her out on a date. Before agreeing to our first date she asked if I was also talking to other women. I lied initially but she demanded an honest answer. I told her ‘Yes’. She followed up with, “how many women”? And of course, I lied about the number. They were five in total but told her two. She asked if I had gone on any dates with the ladies and I affirmed.  It was our first date. Although I knew she was incredibly gorgeous from our encounter in her office, this was going to be my first time of looking at her from a lustful appetite point of view.

There she came into the restaurant, slim, tall curvaceous. I nodded towards my direction and she joined me at the table. The moment she sat down she laid all her cards on the table. She wanted me to treat our first date as a job interview. Since I had mentioned, I was talking to two other women, she was presenting herself as the third candidate being interviewed to be my personal secretary. She actually made me imagine our date as a job interview. Her conditions were, at the end of our date/interview, I should have made a decision whether or not to give her the job. If I could not make a decision I could stand by with my full chest, then there wasn’t going to be any further conversations between us.

I thought it was an unfair pressure but she had a point. I wasn’t committed to any of the other women by that time I was on the date/interview with my sixth candidate. We spent close to four hours talking and getting to know each other. When we were done with the interview-date, I had to make an offer or move on. Dave, do you believe in love at first sight? It’s crazy mehn! That night, I knew I had so much respect for Sefakor. Even the way I talked to her with respect, I wanted to handle her so carefully. These past 10 years, my wife allowed me to be who I was and allowed me to grow for myself. She did not force growth and change on me. My sixth candidate was the last candidate I ever interviewed. I offered the job to her because my plan was to date for the fun of it but Sefakor met me with so much substance.

Image Credit: Terrillo Walls

Let’s Talk To Unathi

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 190: Name is Unathi

DBM: Hello Unathi. How would you describe yourself?

Unathi: My stomach is full, my balls are empty

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Unathi: 9

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Unathi: I want to share my experience in marriage. I’ve been married to Sbusiso for 12 years. And in all the years we’ve been together, he’s poured his love into me every moment. I’ve never been adored from head to toe like he adores me. He loves me to the extent that I know I am not alone in this. Love that confirms to me every day, that I am a part of something way bigger than myself. Our future looks bright, our dreams look interesting because it has the potential to come true. Our journey, though not always smooth, has been rewarding.

DBM: That is nice to know. How did you meet?

Unathi: I knew his cousin and he had been trying to get us together. The cousin invited me to his graduation dinner, and had simultaneously invited over Sbusisso too. That was how we first met. He made us sit side-by-side at the restaurant and practically, forced us to talk.

DBM: Hehehe!

Unathi: Actually, when he walked in, I recognized him immediately because his cousin had told me a lot about him. I had also seen pictures of them together.

DBM: Was he the type you usually would go for?

Unathi: No!

DBM: You knew this prior to meeting him?

Unathi: I did!

DBM: Interesting

Unathi: He wasn’t unattractive. He just wasn’t the type I found attractive.

DBM: Understood!

Unathi: Also, I had made a decision to adjust my standards and be willing to get to know him as a person. Five minutes into our conversation, I discovered I had a belly laugh that could grow with each second he tried to be really funny. That was the first ‘something’ I noticed to find physically appealing and attractive about him. How he made me smile and laugh. I liked his smile. I liked his laugh.

DBM: If you could change anything about the way you were set up to meet your husband, what would it be?

Unathi: I would change the context of the meeting. We were at a graduation dinner, with a lot of his family and friends. I would have preferred the two of us alone at the table instead.

DBM: You liked him already?

Unathi: I started connecting on an emotional level in less than an hour of meeting him. In that moment, I knew the rest could fall into place.

DBM: Attraction does grow with time.

Unathi: That is true

DBM: I’m very proud of you for giving a man you usually wouldn’t go for a chance to know you.

Unathi: One of the best decisions I ever made in life. I have been pleasantly surprised and been loved in a way that still makes me feel like, I am the only one in the world who truly matters to him.

DBM: Do you feel you are in love with who your husband is right now as a whole? Or you’re only that much into his good side, and maybe, his potential and, or the overall idea of him?

Unathi: Firstly, I wouldn’t have gone for a skinny, bald man, who is my height or a bit even shorter. I liked them tall, dark, thick, very well built and manly. My husband is the total opposite of what I go for physically, in features. But none of it mattered in less than an hour of talking to him. He calmed my fears that, I was bold enough to request for a real date. Something about the way he talked to my spirit sowed a seed of happiness and fulfillment in me that I never expected. I’m okay with the man Sbusiso, and I love the shit out of him.

DBM: In other words, you’re not settling for what you deserve?

Unathi: I’m fighting for what I know I do deserve: A good man who loves me to the end.

DBM: What is something that surprised you about falling in love?

Unathi: I used to think love alone formed the foundation of a marriage. Now, I know respect rather is its cornerstone. Had the respect between me and my husband not been mutual, our pillars of trust, understanding and communication would have crumbled by now. Mind you, I am not the easiest guy to live with, and that alone bypasses explanation.

DBM: What does a happy marriage look like to you?

Unathi: A bond that consists of true love, understanding, respect and resilience, nurtured now for the future. That is the promise we make at home every day, to stand by one another.

DBM: What do you remember most about the first time you had sex with Sbusiso?

Unathi: Eina! It was a horror movie.

DBM: Lol!

Unathi: Picture this: First Blood, 1972. Sylvester Stallone as John Rambo, bending to take a dick.

DBM: You’re funny! Lol!

Unathi: I’m serious! I’m a top, my husband is a top. And because the love was new and felt good, we did not pay attention to our sexual needs before falling in love and agreeing to be in a relationship.

DBM: Was it that difficult a subject to discuss?

Unathi: It was. I almost admitted it was a mistake, and was ready to move on to find someone who could be more compatible with me.

DBM: How did you find a way around it?

Unathi: We had a long talk and came up with ideas. My first suggestion was for us to get a submissive bottom to play with. A guy to be used and shared. Sbusiso was against it. My second idea was for us to find a third party that was a bottom and have 3-somes together. Again, he wasn’t open to it. He wasn’t willing for us to break up, and so he suggested alternatively fucking each other in the ass. I had that in mind already but I wasn’t going to be the first to suggest it to him.

DBM: Were you open to it?

Unathi: Yes

DBM: ‘Yes’ because you actually wanted to try bottoming or it was the cleanest avenue to do it in order to finally say ‘no’?

Unathi: I loved him so much, I wanted to try to become verse. He was willing to do same for me because he cared about me. But I wanted to top him so bad, I flipped a coin thinking heads would surface in my favor, only for me to be the first to bottom.

DBM: Lol!

Unathi: But he was slow and gentle. He lubed me up well, while he teased, fingered and sucked me to get me in the mood. I was by this time so horny; he entered and made me whole. That was one of my best orgasms ever. It was jol all day-all-night. Since then, we’ve been taking turns during sex.

DBM: Have you ever cheated on your husband?

Unathi: No

DBM: Has he ever cheated on you?

Unathi: Not that I know of, no!

DBM: What’s one way you think you’ve changed since you met your husband?

Unathi: I’ve become more aware and intentional, not just of my husband’s needs but those around me. I’m less stupid and scared or afraid to see what is in front of me in the present – so I don’t miss the hints and opportunities to them. I used to also fear disagreements but my husband has taught me how to face them head-on. In fact, whenever we quarrel and he’s even in the right, he is never interested in winning the argument but rather growing together from the experience with me. I’ve learned prioritizing harmony over proving a point.

DBM: That is strong. Thank you for sharing your experience with me.

Unathi: Any time

DBM: 😊

Image Credit: Uriel Mont 

Let’s Talk To Xaiden

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 187: Xaiden

DBM: Hello Xaiden. How would you describe yourself?

Xaiden: Husband and dad

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Xaiden: 4

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Xaiden: I am in love with my wife but I feel my wife only loves the fact that I love her. I seriously think my wife only loves my love for her but not me. Am I making sense to you? The woman is not in love with me as a person. She just likes how my love for her makes her feel.

DBM: How does your love make her feel?

Xaiden: How do I even explain this: I treat my wife better than my mother, children, siblings, friends, other women. My wife is my first priority. She knows I factor her in every decision I make. I tell her every day, how much I think of her. I check on my wife everyday when I am not home; I anticipate her every need. I do not talk down at her; I notice her dressing and compliment her beauty. She knows she’s secure with me. I keep her safe and comfortable.

DBM: You sound like a responsible man. Her heart seems to be in good hands

Xaiden: That is what I am trying to say, she knows all this and likes it but she is not interested in me as a person.

DBM: Who fell in love first in your relationship?

Xaiden: I did. I committed faster than she did

DBM: So, she did commit to you at a point?

Xaiden: I don’t know. Meanwhile, in the past when I wasn’t so serious about relationships and girls, they chased me and would go all crazy about me. Now that I have chosen to invest my heart and energy in my marriage and relationship, she’s rather losing interest.

DBM: Has she verbalized her loss of interest in you?

Xaiden: No, but I feel it

DBM: Okay! Your feelings are valid. You know her best

Xaiden: I do

DBM: How long have you been married?

Xaiden: 10 years

DBM: Do you at least, see any hope for your future together?

Xaiden: She might tag along for our children’s sake and the comfortable living I’m providing for the family. But she will not love me back.

DBM: Because …

Xaiden: I’m probably not the type she goes for.

DBM: How does this make you feel?

Xaiden: I’m pained bruh!

DBM: I’m very sorry about that

Xaiden: Hmmm!

DBM: What’s your attitude towards everything that’s going on?

Xaiden: I’ve been toying with a couple of ideas from my friends. I am considering going back to the dating pool.

DBM: As a single or married man?

Xaiden: Lol!

DBM: I believe your friends care about you, and their advice, no doubt, is well-intended but I think it’s a bit misguided.

Xaiden: Hmmm!

DBM: Will it make you stop yourself from still loving your wife?

Xaiden: I don’t know

DBM: I’d want to believe you are a good man, and I respect men like you. It’s a bittersweet experience to love and not be loved back but it is also an expression of your humanity as a whole. It’s a good thing to love your partner, so embrace it. Unreturned, though it may be, it needs not upset or hurt your feelings.

Xaiden: Easier said than done!

DBM: Not really! You cannot help but love your wife, and that’s also okay.

Xaiden: I feel like I am just wasting my time being with her.

DBM: Has she wronged you or the marriage, aside these observations?

Xaiden: No!

DBM: Almost six years of committing to and loving one person has thought me that, we cannot always make sense out of love. Love will not always be rational to us, thus, my reason for not expecting it to make sense to me all the time. In-as-much-as it will not always be the best of choice to make, it will be something we do because it does not just happen to us. Your wife may not be that much into you, but your love and respect for her, reveals in you, the man that you are.

Xaiden: She’s often tired when we make plans to have sex. Sex isn’t that frequent between us

DBM: Put the ball in her court for choosing the days she’d be less stressed to make time for you in the bedroom. If she cares about your needs as much as you say you do for her, she will make time.

Xaiden: My love language is physical touch. It’s not always about the sex. I feel loved when I am randomly hugging or touching or kissing. She’s not so open to that with me but she’s cool with her friends hugging and touching and giving pecks in the open.

DBM: Again, let her decide her level of intimacy when it comes to you. For now, back off a bit with your pressure. She knows who are. Continue being open and relaxed. She might, in time, start craving for your attention and willingly would mirror how your love makes her feel.

Xaiden: Another observation is that, she only pretends she loves me when she needs something. She acts lovey-dovey and would initiate sex when it’s convenient and never when I want her to.

DBM: I’m glad you’ve taken notice of all these hints. Unfortunately, many of us do not know how to hurt the feelings of those who have been good to us, with the truth. And so, we’d rather avoid the awkwardness of an actual conversation. Do not force someone who does not love you to love you.

Xaiden: Thank you, boss

DBM: Participant 186, Ame, left a question for you: ‘Why is the divorce rate so alarming lately and are we too “woke” as a generation to curb this menace?’

Xaiden: I think it’s because both men and women now have increased options. I got married because I felt I was supposed to, as man, but I am realizing I would have been way happier in a regular partnership, or relationship, and not necessarily in a marriage. I will be open to a divorce if my wife wants to.

DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant.

Xaiden: x2x +19=16x

DBM: Thank you!

Image Credit: Calvin Cowakces

Let’s Talk To Ame – Part II

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 186: It’s Ame again!!! 😂

DBM: Hi Ame. How would you describe yourself?

Ame: Hmmm! That is a rather interesting one: a woman who is in love and being loved on and has found her forever home.

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Ame: Now, I am hitting 100/10. Mehnnn!

DBM: Eish! Lol! What do you want to talk about?

Ame: I sincerely don’t have anything pressing to talk about: I have just met someone so amazing and I literally can’t share it with anyone close to me so I will rather share it with you and your followers. I just can’t keep calm about this man and all the emotions I am feeling.

DBM: Awww! How old is this guy, if I may ask?

Ame: He is in his late 40s.

DBM: Is he in the age bracket you prefer?

Ame: Yes, he sure is!

DBM: I am interested in knowing more about him, but let me ask a few personal, leading questions to guide me to him. I know many breakups are due to differing life visions. My first question is this: what is your vision, and does it complement his – to the best of your knowledge?

Ame: My vision for me after everything I have been through is to just live life, get a companion who understands me and see where life will take us. Marriage was never part of my plans because I feel one is enough. However, meeting him and listening to his vision and goals have changed a lot of things for me! Aside the fact that I am willing to try marriage with him again (bear in mind that this decision was not coerced but a natural consequence of our relationship), everything else ties in well with what I need for myself and what he also needs. We are like two peas in a pod and so alike eh, it seems we are one person in opposite bodies.

DBM: Is marriage for you? Or just being in a committed relationship is enough?

Ame: Initially, being in a committed relationship was more than enough but now… I can’t help the feeling of being in more than a committed relationship!

DBM: What would your friends say is your best quality?

Ame: My ability to love wholeheartedly and give my all to the one I love. I don’t play games with my love!

DBM: What is the most important thing to you in the world?

Ame: Aside my children, my goals and aspirations for my future and their future as well!

DBM: Would you say you have fallen in love?

Ame: Fallen k3… More than fallen oooo! I am even drowning in it!

DBM: Hehehehe! What do you want out of this relationship?

Ame: Apart from bearing his beautiful name and blending our families, I need, not want, I need for us to enjoy a beautiful happy life filled with the goodness of God and all good things that our association will bring to our lives. I need this relationship to be an epitome of what it means to have a second chance at love and to also serve as a reminder to those who think all is done that… God has not even started with you yet!

DBM: What is/are the most important quality/ies you found attractive in him?

Ame: Awwww! Let me just mention the basic ones because if I start, I won’t finish. Do you know what it means when someone sees you?

DBM: Tell me!

Ame: This man sees me and I don’t even need to say anything to him before it gets done. He is so calculated and thoughtful with everything he does. His humility is everything! His kindness is second to none and his love for me is the kind that makes you ask yourself whether this is really happening for you. Above all, his love for God is everything! A man that loves God should be everyone’s goal in life! I am not talking about a churchgoer; I am talking about someone who will pray with you and pray for you. Someone who believes in prayers and urges you to be prayerful!

DBM: How would you describe your heart? Is it open, partially closed, fearful or untrusting?

Ame: If I had locks and walls up, now they are open and broken down. You can’t have this person and not give your all!

DBM: Love looks and feels differently to different people. What does real love look like to you?

Ame: Real love cares about the other person and not self; real love is hard work and it is not a given; real love is service to the other person even when you are mad at each other.

DBM: How did you meet?

Ame: Hmmmm! It is a very interesting story for another day. However, we have been acquaintances for about 2 years now until one day, he sent me a random message on a status I made and that changed everything! 😊

DBM: What is the one thing about him that scares you?

Ame: His inability to say ‘No’ to people!

DBM: Explain

Ame: He is the type that will go to every length to make sure another person is comfortable. People, being people, naturally take that for granted.

DBM: Does he know and acknowledge this as a flaw?

Ame: He does and he is trying so hard to change that narrative… So far, there is steady progress and I am happy about that!

DBM: How did he officially ask you to be his girlfriend? I love proposal stories 🥰

Ame: Hehehehe! I guess I need to wait a while for that to happen. That has not officially happened yet… But he knows how important that singular act is to me!

DBM: He has not proposed?

Ame: No, he has not!

DBM: I see. Do you think love should always feel comfortable, or love ought to feel new and exciting?

Ame: Love is a journey that is not always smooth: from the beginning, it must feel comfortable, it must feel new and it must feel exciting. If a relationship, from the onset, does not share any of these qualities, you have no business pursuing it. But the hard work comes in as it progresses: challenges will come but how you handle it determines whether you will survive or not! If you know this, you will forever have peace. We have set out certain rules for how our relationship should go: foremost, you don’t go to bed mad at each other. If there is something you are unhappy about, voice it, let’s discuss and let go!

If you prefer to remain mad at the person a day after, that is your prerogative and you are entitled to it but don’t let it ruin a good day! Also, apologize when you are wrong and don’t try to defend it, no matter how tangible of an excuse you think you have. It eases anger quickly and helps you heal! So far, these have been working wonders for us! I don’t believe this comes with age but a decision to act maturely.

DBM: What makes you fall out of love?

Ame: Being taken for granted, being lied to and going days without checking up on me, especially when I have reached out and you promised to get back only for it to take you a week or more to do that! It just tells me I am not a priority…

DBM: Do you think knowing whether or not what you feel is love is dependent on how long you’ve known your guy?

Ame: Nope, not at all! If that is the case, the adage “Love at first sight” would not exist. 😂 Sometimes, the heart just knows what it wants and won’t lose any time when if finds it.

DBM: Agreed! Was it love at first sight with him?

Ame: Nope! Not at all! As stated earlier, we have been acquaintances for close to 2 years.

DBM: How long do you think it took before you knew you loved him?

Ame: It didn’t take 72hrs after we actually had a day conversation for me to realize that he can be the chosen one.

DBM: If you love someone, is cheating/unfaithfulness something that can be forgiven?

Ame: Very interesting question: I believe this actually depends on the person. There is not one-fit-all under such circumstances. Someone might forgive a cheating partner because he/she is thinking about other factors but some might never forgive. However, one thing that cheating does is that, even when you forgive, the betrayal changes the relationship in one way or the other. It taints the relationship and it is never the same again.

DBM: As a follow-up, would it be ‘forgive and forget’, ‘forgive but do not forget’, or ‘do not forgive at all’?

Ame: Anyone who does forgive and forget is a Saint! I know I can’t do that! I think I am more of a forgive but don’t forget kind of person and the one who does not forgive at all might as well end the relationship! 😂

DBM: Do you believe love changes people?

Ame: Oh yes, you should see me now! All the things I said I will not do because I did them for someone’s son and it took me nowhere, I am here nurturing a man all over again.

DBM: Lol!

Ame: On a more serious note, it makes you want to be a better person for your partner and if that person supports you, then you are on a path to becoming a better version of you!

DBM: Do you think people should change themselves to find love?

Ame: Hell to the no! How would you meet someone that genuinely loves you if you don’t present yourself. Well, many might want to change who they are to find love but I can never. Even when retuning to earth, naked you came, naked you will go, from dust to dust, my brother.

DBM: Participant 185, Plumb, left a question for you: ‘Will you fight for a relationship that you know is worth fighting for? Why?’

Ame: The key word is worth fighting for: I will gladly fight for that relationship with every fiber of my being but if I realize that the other person wants none of it, then I will let go. Remember, you both need to find it worthy to fight for!

DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant.

Ame: Why is the divorce rate so alarming lately and are we too “woke” as a generation to curb this menace?

DBM: Thank you!

Ame: You’re welcome!

Image Credit: Rdne

Let’s Talk To Sabrina

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 1 Comment

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 183: Sabrina

DBM: Hello Sabrina. How would you describe yourself?

Sabrina: Highly organized with a strong work ethic.

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Sabrina: 7

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Sabrina: I’ve been proposed to be married. I’ve said yes to him but a part of me isn’t sure whether I’m making the right decision. He’s a great guy but does not earn enough money. He has a bit of savings but he will be incapable of being a good provider. I make slightly more than him but even with that, I doubt we can support a family should we have a baby.

DBM: Is he financially responsible in character?

Sabrina: He is to the best of my knowledge. He supports his parents and little sister. A lot is going on with him. I know myself, and I feel like I may end up being unhappy in the future with him as my husband. The kind of life I want for my future wouldn’t fit into his plans.

DBM: What kind of life do you want for your future?

Sabrina: Let me tell you what I don’t want; I don’t want to end up like my mother and father. Ma was ignorant about money management, and left money matters to my dad after they married. My dad wasn’t skillful in the same and this resulted in unplanned life goals and investments in wrong ventures which austerely affected our family. The man I am about to marry doesn’t believe he’s anything like my parents, but I think he is.

DBM: You said he’s responsible with money, no?

Sabrina: To some extent. I mean, he doesn’t waste money buying designer stuff. He doesn’t spend on me because he thinks he has to save for our future. Every Cedi counts in his books.

DBM: He doesn’t spend on you?

Sabrina: Nope

DBM: How long have you been dating?

Sabrina: Three and a half years

DBM: And, he does not spend on you?

Sabrina: I can remember the last time he bought me something

DBM: When?

Sabrina: April, 2022

DBM: What did he get for you?

Sabrina: KFC. Even with that, I had to top up with a Ghs 100 because he didn’t have enough money on his mobile money that day.

DBM: Do you spend on him?

Sabrina: I used to but had to stop

DBM: Why?

Sabrina: He takes minor loans from me, and it takes him forever to sometimes pay back.

DBM: How do you feel about him in general?

Sabrina: I love him. He makes me laugh but I fear I may end up resenting him because he wouldn’t be capable of supporting us in a marriage.

DBM: How old are you?

Sabrina: 34

DBM: How old is he?

Sabrina: 38

DBM: Before I decided to settle down in marriage, I had to come to terms with the fact that, my marriage may be about accepting certain things in my partner that I didn’t necessarily love. My partner, on the other hand also had to learn how to tolerate what career women like yourself deal with on a daily basis: loving a husband who is not wealthy enough to tick all the boxes on your list.

Sabrina: It’s not easy. Hmmm!

DBM: When it comes to love and marriage, there really are no guarantees. And the grass isn’t always that greener.

Sabrina: I don’t want to suffer

DBM: You don’t have to suffer.

Sabrina: Hmmm!

DBM: In-as-much-as I’m all for ‘living your very best life’, I hold dear to love.

Sabrina: I love love too, Dave. But is love enough?

DBM: If he was making more money and had refused to spend on you, then I would have an issue. But here is the case he genuinely does not have. You can choose to learn how to enjoy him and the relationship if you want to. Life and love can be cheap, yet memorable, depending on what is important to you. I’m creating enjoyable memories with my choice of a partner and marriage.

Sabrina: I’m a bit conflicted

DBM: You need to understand though, that most men, naturally are givers. If a man genuinely is that much into you, he does not find it hard to go out of his way to please the love of his heart, however little. We spend on where our heart is.

Sabrina: You don’t think he loves me?

DBM: I wouldn’t be able to know. Do you think he loves you?

Sabrina: I don’t know. He doesn’t spend on me at all.

DBM: Yeah! That’s a flag for me. I do not measure love by how much money one is able to give to another. I’m not a rich guy but I make the effort to make my partner feel wanted and comfortable. And comfort does not come about without spending an amount here or there.

Sabrina: I agree. I don’t think he loves me as much as he says he does

DBM: Talk to him about your concerns

Sabrina: I don’t have to. It’s not going to work between us.

DBM: I don’t think he’s stingy. He does not love you that much. That would be my biggest guess.

Sabrina: Because he’s been living on a budget with me for so long in our relationship.

DBM: And marriage will only enhance it to an unbearable magnitude. Love should not be brewed behind closed doors, all in the name of ‘he’s saving for our future’. You may end up not being a part of the said future. I’ve seen it happen to many women.

Sabrina: Thank you, David. You’ve been of great help.

DBM: You’re welcome! Participant 182, Zuhrah, left a question for you: ‘I am pregnant for a married man. Do I have to inform him about my decision to get an abortion? NB: I am not ready to be a mother. I do not want this pregnancy.’

Sabrina: See a doctor, flush the baby out and leave the relationship.

DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant.

Sabrina: Why did your relationship with your ex not work out?

DBM: Thank you!

Image Credit: Andres Ayrton

Let’s Talk To Ame

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 181: Ame

DBM: Hello Ame. How would you describe yourself?

Ame: I am a bubbly, friendly, outgoing, smart, adaptable and an interesting person.

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Ame: 15/10

DBM: Eish! 😁 First of its kind

Ame: 🤣. I can actually explain why though. I don’t let things out of my control take away from me.

DBM: That makes sense

Ame: It is not that I don’t have problems: I have a mountain load that when some hear, they wonder how I sail through with a smile.

DBM: Anyways, what do you want to talk about?

Ame: I want to see if I am the only weird one: why am I friends with literally 95% of my exes?

DBM: Lol! As in, you feel like your authentic self around them?

Ame: As in, although we don’t talk frequently, we chat as friends would anytime. Even the one with the most annoying and hurtful breakup tends to be someone I can talk and laugh with. And even tease…

DBM: Interesting. You mind me asking how many exes you have?

Ame: I am feeling lazy but I guess I should have about 8. From when I was in secondary school till date. Might be more though 😁😅😂

DBM: Why did it not work out with Ex number 1?

Ame: With ex 1, he started another relationship with a girl in our neighborhood: I allowed them be anyways.

DBM: Oh boy! Why did your relationship with Ex 2 break up?

Ame: 😂 I think with ex two, his cousin impregnated my cousin and he denied it. I blasted both of them because he was supporting his cousin, knowing very well he was lying and… that was it! His cousin took responsibility for it though but I was done!

DBM: Hmmm! When did things start turning south between you and Ex 3?

Ame: Ex 3!!! Hmmmm! We met in Uni and I didn’t know he had a girlfriend at home whilst we were on campus till a friend of his shared the info with me! That was the end of another era…

DBM: I see. How about Ex 4?

Ame: Lol. Do I need to recount for all these? Lol

DBM: Not really! I just need information about the relationships so I can understand why you can be good friends and nice towards them.

Ame: You are taking me down memory lane. With ex 4, we dated in Uni for close to a year till he dropped a bombshell that he was no longer interested. We took a walk on that day to the beach. Years later, this boy told me he thought I was going to kill him on that day. I still can’t believe he thought I was capable of that! 😂🤣

DBM: Lol! 😂 Funny! Let’s jump to Ex 8

Ame: Why are you jumping? Go easy! Lol

DBM: Hehehehe

Ame: Anyway, let me check on who 8 is first. I am coming

DBM: Alright! Lol! 😊

Ame: Can I just do 6 and skip 5

DBM: My ears sweet me. Ex 6 then

Ame: 6 is who I will call my soulmate! Damn, my back and forth with this guy is like a pendulum. It is that kind of love that draws you in anytime but… We are bad for each other. Basically, how I can describe it.

DBM: What is the one thing that you feel you could’ve done differently with E-6?

Ame: This is a very … question. There was absolutely nothing to do differently when it comes to him. Nothing would have worked.

DBM: Okay!

Ame: Yhup!

DBM: We are not talking about Ex 5, but I would like to know whether or not you miss your relationship with him at all?

Ame: Not at all! I sometimes wonder if we even shared good times together because when I try, nothing pops up! Don’t know if I was the terrible one or he was? 😂

DBM: 😊

Ame: Yhup!

DBM: Do you believe in love?

Ame: Oh yes, I do! But lately, I want to believe that love alone is not enough. I have operated on just love for so long and been hurt in the end.

DBM: What makes enough?

Ame: Mutual respect, understanding, and money! 😂

DBM: Hehehehe! Money, I hear is vitamins D

Ame: I swear. It is more than Vitamin D. It is all the vitamins in one.

DBM: 😁

Ame: And can just cure anything: stress, slight headache, frustration: you name it!

DBM: Are you single, dating or married?

Ame: Almost hooked at the moment… That is if he proves to be correct: so far, I have no complains.

DBM: Great! How important is friendship or being on good terms with people to you?

Ame: Very very important: I have always held the belief that “human currency” is very important. You sincerely don’t know when you will need anyone’s help in the future so try as much as you can to be on good terms with all. They don’t necessarily have to be your friends; they must just know that this girl is a good person. That way, on any day of reckoning when you need help, they will support you.

DBM: I concur. Do your exes relate to you in the same manner your energy rubs off them?

Ame: I guess it is my energy that rubs off on them. If I don’t give them the opportunity, I am sure this cordiality will not be. I create the atmosphere for them to feel at ease with me despite how things ended. To me, life is too short for us to hold grudges.

DBM: Indeed! Did you ever see a long-term future with any of them?

Ame: Oh yes, number 5 that we skipped. But I guess it was not meant to be! Life goes on.

DBM: Can you proudly say you have forgiven them?

Ame: Oh yes, I have! Completely. It even shocks me because number 5 really does not deserve the forgiveness… But eh, I don’t want people living rent free in my head.

DBM: You seem kind. Per your experiences with men, what would you tell any man reading this – about their intentions and actions when dealing with women they’re pursuing?

Ame: Don’t awaken a woman’s love if you are not ready for it! If it is sex that you want, just let the woman know and if she wants that too, why not? Don’t do all the running around, pretending you are someone that you are not, just to get some coochie.

DBM: Hmmm! Talk to the young lady reading our conversation about herself and men (per your understanding of them)

Ame: Lol. You want people to come for me?

DBM: I believe we all can impact others with our experiences

Ame: Anyway, I have realized that humans in this generation, both men and women, are not to be trusted. Should you meet anyone, don’t fall in love completely and don’t give your 100 to any man, esp. if they are not doing that for you. Give them the exact same energy they give you! You give your all at your in risk.

DBM: Very well said. You mentioned kinda, dating someone now. Assuming it all works out well for your good, do you think an old flame can burn so hot – to awaken your senses all over again?

Ame: I would have answered in the affirmative some years ago but I don’t see that happening now. There is no chance in hell…

DBM: And assuming your current relationship works out, do you think the flame can burn to awaken your senses?

Ame: It might! I am actually looking forward to that happening. But we are going in with lessons learnt.

DBM: I see. Participant 180, Nessa, left a question for you: ‘Do you believe in spiritual marriage? The belief that some individuals have marital partners in the spirit world, which may present challenges when seeking earthly marriage partners.’

Ame: If you believe in God, then you most certainly must believe in the existence of the spiritual realm. I believe some spiritual marriages are meant to either destroy someone or to provide the opposite. Just pray you don’t encounter anyone with any of these marriages.

DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant.

Ame: What would you have done differently in your life with the right support?

DBM: Thank you!

Image Credit: RDNE

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