Water is tasty

Awal: Hello David. Can I share my 31 years of experience in marriage?

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Oh wow! 31 years? Yes, I want to learn

Awal: Your surname, is it Mbir or Bondze Mbir?

DBM: Bondze-Mbir.

Awal: Where is the name from?

DBM: Winneba.

Awal: Simpa. Do you speak Efutu?

DBM: No!

Awal: Have you been there before?

DBM: Once. I am Fante though

Awal: Fante is your mother’s side?

DBM: Yes. Elmina.

Awal: Have you been there before?

DBM: Yes. Once

Awal: Ok. To my story; It was love at first sight when I looked into the eyes of my wife for the first time. I was healing from a heartbreak and thought I was done with the dating game. I had always been afraid of what might go wrong in a relationship. I wasn’t great at committing to just one woman because I was afraid of missing out on something better in the future. A lot of ‘what ifs’ played on my mind and because of that, I became the ladies’ man. I went for the finest girls I could persuade, the perfect shapes, the best I could attract but could not offer my best to them. In hindsight, I did not know what it was that I actually wanted, and therefore, was chasing the types of women I thought I could have. My intentions weren’t sincere. I was leading girls on just to get them to like me. I knew none of them could break through to get me to be loyal to one girl. This is a past of mine I regret.

DBM: It was all about sex, I guess?

Awal: Yes, and a need for casual companionship.

DBM: Okay!

Awal: While at it I met this other girl. The one who broke my heart before I met my wife. She was the perfect girl I was willing to let my guard down for. It is kind of hard to gauge this particular situation because I didn’t see it coming. She was the first girl I would do things for out of the kindness of my heart with no intention of getting something in return. I loved her and I could not control that moment and outcome. I didn’t know I was capable of falling in love. This made me get lost in my worries and fears. I didn’t want to take her for granted. This was the comical part; she was the first girl I prayed to God about.

DBM: You liked her that much?

Awal: I loved her.

DBM: What happened?

Awal: Unbeknownst to me, she was the cousin of one of the many girls I had played and dumped. She planted herself in my life at the right moment with the help of her cousin who knew a lot about my daily routine, and got me wrapped around her finger in all the wrong ways I couldn’t see coming. To cut the miserable story short, I lost a lot of money in the process of her short-term revenge diversion game. We were planning to get married when she left me to go marry someone else. I nearly committed suicide.

DBM: How did you find out it was a conspiracy?

Awal: The cousin I used to fuck with came to my office to tell me why I was never going to see her cousin again. And truly, I never saw her cousin again.

DBM: Wait! The one you played was the one in your office in this scenario?

Awal: Yes. I didn’t set eyes on the one I was planning marriage with again.

DBM: There was no further communication, breakup, closure, etc.

Awal: Nothing. We were on good terms the night before her cousin’s visit to my office.

DBM: Did you live together?

Awal: No, but I had rented a house for her. Bought a brand-new car for her. Paid her debts and loans. Spent on her. I spent monies I hadn’t even spent on myself before on her because I wanted to impress. She made me fall in love hard, Dave.

DBM: What in your opinion, made her stand out and not blend in?

Awal: She made me a priority in the beginning stages of our relationship and I thought that had set the precedent for how I would reciprocate. I believed she was consistently into who I was, and was happy to be all in with me. I didn’t see the reason to be pulling her back and forth in the games I used to play.

DBM: You never had a sense of her hiding something from you?

Awal: No.

DBM: How long were you together?

Awal: 1 year and six months. After her cousin’s visit to my office, I went to the house I had rented in her name and she had packed out. It happened so fast I couldn’t make the head or tail of it.

DBM: Did you find out where she had gone to?

Awal: The cousin mentioned at the office that she had traveled abroad to be with her husband, which I did not believe. But she made me understand she had it all planned out because she knew I liked beautiful women. Her cousin was the perfect beauty to seduce and lead me on, mess me around and then discard me. She disappeared in a puff of smoke, Dave.

DBM: How did you meet your wife?

Awal: After finding out that she had packed out, I went back to my car with the intention of driving to the police station to make a formal complaint. It was a really hard time period for me because I had made a quick turn in a corner onto the main street without really paying attention to the road. Truthfully, she appeared from nowhere into the crossing and I hit her with my car. I stopped and immediately ran out to see if she was okay. She was bleeding profusely. My second worse nightmare in life was when I first came in contact with my wife. I did not know what to do that instance. A few guys came over to help me carry her to my car. We sent her to the nearest hospital, and that was when it hit me, she could die. I broke into uncontrollable tears. It all started coming back to me, the love of my life that had vanished on me. The dream to be married that had been taken away from me by a vengeful woman and her cousin. The money I had lost. The innocent lady I had maimed and wasn’t sure whether she could fight for her life or not at the hospital.

DBM: I can only imagine your devastation

Awal: God being so good, she gained consciousness on the second day and I was allowed to see her. She looked at me oddly and managed to smile at me. I knelt by her bed and asked for forgiveness. She lifted her right hand to touch my shoulder and I looked straight into her eyes with tears in mine. She smiled with mercy and grace in eyes for me. Something inside of me loosened. I was touched by her smile. I was moved by the look in her eyes. That look threw a hint of light to shine through my darkness. That was the beginning of our attraction and friendship and relationship and later, marriage.

DBM: What else about her genuinely got you hooked?

Awal: She wasn’t performing to win my attention. A lot of the girls I usually would go for in the past I think put on a show to match my performances. She was deeper than a performance.

DBM: Was she your usual type?

Awal: No. But I felt safe and the connection felt real. I didn’t have to perform or impress. I experienced an honest feeling oozing out of me.

DBM: Did she feel the same way towards you?

Awal: She was developing likeness for me.

DBM: What else got you hooked?

Awal: She knew how to listen and make me feel heard and seen. There was warmth in how she made me feel seen. I could be myself around her, Dave. She made me laugh. She made me smile. She knew how to tease me softly and sweetly. It lightened my world and made me feel like I could be alive and lighter all over again. I felt at ease. She embraced my walls with peace. She had an independent life of her own. An impressive life, as a matter of fact. Goal driven, passionate about her career, super smart and intelligent. Very hardworking and forceful. That, was attractive to me. She was a complete package of her own who just happened to like being around me too. She didn’t need me to be her knight and shining armor. She wanted me to ride along her journey. My wife is a lady. She carries her presence without trying too hard for attention or validation.

DBM: Is she the only woman you’ve been with since you married?

Awal: She’s the only woman I’ve been with since hitting her with my car. There’s nothing brand new out there that can’t be drawn from my well at home.

DBM: Water is tasty.

Awal: Lol. Dave, my well is sourced from an underground aquifer deep in my wife’s soil. It’s naturally filtered but a little bit of high concentration of her soil minerals can easily influence her taste to sparkling water. Sometimes, she tastes like spring water. Most times, she’s regular tap water but she can be ionized with rich minerals to raise her pH level to a smoother alkaline water. Her water can be distilled. Water is tasty when you’re thirsty enough. How old are you, Dave?

DBM: 41

Awal: Who taught you that phrase? Water is tasty isn’t for your generation

DBM: I can be an unassuming gentle bad boy sometimes. I know a thing or two about the water I drink.

Awal: What kind of water do you drink?

DBM: Mine also has sodium (Na⁺), potassium (K⁺), and chloride (Cl⁻) dissolved in it. Sometimes it tastes sweet. Other times, it’s sour. It tastes bitter or salty once in a while when we’re mad at each other. But this morning, it certainly was umami

Awal: Lol.

DBM: What do you think is sustaining your marriage?

Awal: Contentment. Having a sense that I am enough. My wife is enough. Every moment in our marriage is enough, whether good or bad. Finding sufficiency in the enough and accepting what and who I chose to have in my life to do life with in this present moment. There’s nothing to compare if you dwell, commit to and savor the enough.

DBM: This was a good conversation. Thank you for your time.

Awal: Thank you.

Imagine Credit: RDNE