Her Kinda Person
Nana Yaa: David
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM: Hey, Nana Yaa. How are you doing?
Nana Yaa: Fine. You?
DBM: I am doing alright, thanks. How is your boyfriend?
Nana Yaa: He’s fine
DBM: The ‘girlfriend’ status is now officially claimed, no?
Nana Yaa: It has
DBM: Glad to know
Nana Yaa: I like him very much
DBM: I figured.
Nana Yaa: Thanks for hooking us up
DBM: Well, I did not hook you up. You expressed interest in him after his post, and I just connected you
Nana Yaa: He’s my taste I swear. He’s fine
DBM: I’m happy for you. What about his post got you interested?
Nana Yaa: The way he expressed himself ignited laughter. I laughed about the part he talked about his roster. At first, I thought it was a corny joke.
DBM: Really? Because I didn’t find a man who rotates ladies he’s sleeping with to be funny.
Nana Yaa: It wasn’t funny but somehow, his honesty was the real knockout move for me
DBM: I see. How far with the whole ‘sex’ conversation?
Nana Yaa: I’m not having sex with anyone who isn’t my husband.
DBM: Are you a virgin?
Nana Yaa: No
DBM: Okay!
Nana Yaa: I know that is what he’s finding difficult to understand but Dave, if a man is not ready to recognize or respect my principles and faith, then he does not want to really know me.
DBM: I agree with you
Nana Yaa: He’s promised to stay the pace
DBM: And you believe he can?
Nana Yaa: He should be able to. So far, he’s proven to be a man who keeps to his word. He hasn’t said anything to me that he hasn’t done yet. His words so far have value.
DBM: Have you kissed?
Nana Yaa: We have kissed. I like the way he kisses me. He’s always asking ‘can I kiss you?’ before making a move on me. This is the first time I am dating a man who asks for my consent before kissing me.
DBM: That’s sweet of him. Practicing boundaries with a partner and respecting theirs is confirmation of how they make you feel safe and respected.
Nana Yaa: He’s very sweet. I feel safe and comfortable with him
DBM: Have you met any of his friends?
Nana Yaa: Yes. And he’s met my best friends
DBM: What do you appreciate about him?
Nana Yaa: He doesn’t pretend
DBM: I believe that. Lol!
Nana Yaa: What you see is what you get. But most significantly, he satisfies me emotionally. I am aware of his need to be physical with me but I am not there yet. I hope that someday I would be able to satisfy him sexually.
DBM: People are different and we have different needs.
Nana Yaa: Yes
DBM: What is most important is that you try your best to fulfill him and make him feel at peace, and someday, satisfied.
Nana Yaa: Yes
DBM: Do you trust him?
Nana Yaa: I trust him. I have seen how he has my best interest at heart
DBM: Do you believe he likes you as much?
Nana Yaa: I think so. I’ve never felt like I need to put on an act to get him interested in me. I can be myself around him. And he calls my phone four times in a day, just to check on me. What does that say about him?
DBM: He likes you for sure. When a man genuinely is that much into you, he would want to hear your voice a lot more than once. How did your first date with him go?
Nana Yaa: I didn’t want it to end. We talked, and danced. Lol!
DBM: Aha! Lol!
Nana Yaa: It’s pretty hard to resist a tall, 52-year-old lawyer who is clueless about his dance moves being mediocre.
DBM: Lol! He can’t dance?
Nana Yaa: Don’t laugh at my man. Can you dance?
DBM: No!
Nana Yaa: He can’t also dance.
DBM: Has he been clearer about exactly what he wants from you?
Nana Yaa: He wants to get married someday
DBM: To you?
Nana Yaa: Yes. He extended an invitation to me to move in with him.
DBM: Really?
Nana Yaa: Yes
DBM: Where do you stand on cohabitation before marriage?
Nana Yaa: I declined the offer.
DBM: Why is that? Too soon?
Nana Yaa: It’s been two months since we started talking. I am enjoying getting to know him. And I need my space to be doing that efficiently. Men easily feel smothered when you’re in their business. I’ve lived with a man who loved me before until he was fed up having me around his home all the time. I want to be in a man’s home like I live there after he’s married me.
DBM: Aside that, nothing else is holding you back?
Nana Yaa: I like things the way they are with us. I don’t have to be auditioning as a live-in wife. What would be your intention as a man to ask someone to move in with you?
DBM: The only person who has ever moved in with me is my spouse. We tried that for three months, after dating for almost a year. I needed to understand what it meant to share my space and home with someone else. I hadn’t done it before. The thought of losing my closet space, my independence, my personal space etc. My spouse is a bit messy and doesn’t see the need to clean stuff up right there and then. I am the direct opposite. So, you can only imagine how things easily went south. When I lived alone, I didn’t have to consider the needs and desires of another human being before making the simplest of decision. But I had to, in our three months trial. It took a lot of consideration and discussion, but ….
Nana Yaa: Did it influence your decision to get married?
DBM: No, but it confirmed something I already knew
Nana Yaa: What?
DBM: That I was willing to take the next step in the relationship with my partner. I could spend the rest of my life with babe’s character. Being with someone you care about outweighs the sacrifice of personal freedom.
Nana Yaa: Ok
DBM: I had always wanted to ask this question: his initial post was desiring of a lady between the ages of 25 and 35. You’re 38 years old, no?
Nana Yaa: I’m a risk taker. That’s how I learn. Risks come with consequences. I can never know something is for me until I actually try to claim it. The men I thought were worth jumping for weren’t there to catch me. This guy doesn’t look like he’s worth jumping for. I may end up even with a broken limb or heart but he’s a risk I am willing to leap one more time.
Image Credit: Leonardo Moncao
