Tag: Love

GOING WITH THE GROOVE, VICTORY STYLE

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 1 Comment

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name you fancy)

Participant 5:  Victory is fine.

DBM: Tell me anything about yourself

VICTORY: I am a committed Christian, beautiful and a happy-going person who believes in hard work, and is currently working two jobs.

DBM: How long have you been married?

VICTORY: I have been married for 15 years.

DBM: What was your perfect ‘type’ of a man or woman? Did your husband or wife fit into your exact specifications?

VICTORY: A man who would always be there for his family; had to be tall, slim and an extrovert. My husband does not fit into all of my specifications. Let’s say, 50%.

DBM: So, how did you two meet?

VICTORY: Dave, it will surprise you how we both ended up together; we met through my ex.

DBM: Do you consider your significant other as your best friend?

VICTORY: No please, he is not my best friend.

DBM: When did you make him or her laugh the most? What happened?

VICTORY: When I told him I met him holding a dairy and a pen which he carried everywhere until God blessed him.

DBM: At what point were you certain he or she was the one for you?

VICTORY: I was certain he was the one based on the way he treated my mum and sisters. He stood by me through my hard times.

DBM: Do you still find your husband or wife physically attractive?

VICTORY: Dave, after 15 years of marriage, I still find my husband very attractive.

DBM: In a deeper conversation with your spouse, do you listen just to completely understand or you listen simply to formulate your response?

VICTORY: He does not listen pa pa bia. Sometimes, I have to repeat myself before I get a response.

DBM: How is your significant other faring in the position as a husband or wife?

VICTORY: To him, he’s the best husband ever, but to me, his focus is on the kids.

DBM: Which of your wedding vows means the world to you?

VICTORY: In sickness and in health, till death do us part.

DBM: What is the most fun you both have had in the relationship?

VICTORY: We had our share of fun when we didn’t have kids.

DBM: Is the love for your husband or wife growing any stronger by the day?

VICTORY: Dave, saa telenovela odo no doesn’t work for me. Me nni biom but we are cool laidat!

DBM: Do you trust your husband or wife?

VICTORY: I still trust him, but nothing will surprise me because I have my shock absorbers in place 😂.

DBM: How much time do you spend on your husband or wife?

VICTORY: I have all the time for him, but unfortunately, I got an introvert who enjoys his own company for a husband (reason why I didn’t want one in the first place) 😂😂.

DBM: Emotionally, do you feel connected than before?

VICTORY: My husband is a typical African man; my emotional needs na my own o. Take money and sort yourself out specs

DBM: Do you feel secure in the marriage?

VICTORY: I am very secure. What can come can come! 😅

DBM: Where do you see you and your spouse in the next 10 years?

VICTORY: Till death walahi 🙏😂. We will both be preparing for our retirements with either a pension baby or grandchild.

DBM: What is your ideal sex life?

VICTORY: Please, table top or wheelbarrow. 😂😂

DBM: Rate your current sex life (out of 10)

VICTORY: Our current sex life is 9.

DBM: What is your understanding of love?

VICTORY: I doubt I have any. Love ankasa me ni bi.

DBM: Are you feeling loved in your marriage?

VICTORY: Yes please. I have one weakness that it would only take love to tolerate. So, for him to put up with it/me for all these 15 years, wa y3 bi; he’s really done well!

DBM: Are you a good spouse?

VICTORY: Yes, I am a good spouse, by my husband’s standard. He tells me all the time.

DBM: Have you cheated on your husband or wife with another man or woman?

VICTORY: S3 cheating ye football a, anka me y3 Merci (no sir)

DBM: Say something to your spouse from your heart.

VICTORY: Nana K, I am proud of you; I will choose you again if there’s a next life. You have been a good provider for me and the children, nanso, ye romantic kakraa ai? You take life too seriously. 😘

Image Credit: Raquel Sílva

YEBOAH’S TAKE

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name you fancy)

Participant 2: I am Yeboah.

DBM: Tell me anything about yourself

YEBOAH: Yeboah is a caring and loving gentleman who has got his shit together. I am worthy of my wife’s attention, time, love and respect. I do not talk down on people others feel are lesser to me; I respect myself and others.

DBM: How long have you been married?

YEBOAH: I have been married for 10 years.

DBM: What was your perfect ‘type’ of a man or woman? Did your husband or wife fit into your exact specifications?

YEBOAH: I looked out for a responsible lady; she had to have a job. She had to be emotionally intelligent; a woman who could control her emotional instincts and could demonstrate true maturity when confronted with life’s issues. My wife is a well-grounded individual with a sense of balance when it comes to her finances. Physically, I wanted bortoss kakra on her backside and great east-west standing boobs to cure my asthma. I am cured after a decade with her!

DBM: So, how did you two meet?

YEBOAH: At a friend’s wedding reception. She was physically ready to be talked to, so I talked to her.

DBM: Do you consider your significant other as your best friend?

YEBOAH: My wife is my best friend. Though we’ve become so used to each other, our friendship hasn’t dwindled. I feel appreciated, liked and loved by her always.

DBM: When did you make him or her laugh the most? What happened?

YEBOAH: At that same wedding reception. I told her she looked lovelier than the bride (which she did). I drew her attention to the fact that the bridegroom was also checking her out. He was, and we both laughed.

DBM: At what point were you certain he or she was the one for you?

YEBOAH: When I realized she also loved being near me. She would take my hand and make me feel like I am special to her.

DBM: Do you still find your husband or wife physically attractive?

YEBOAH: My wife is HOT, very attractive.

DBM: In a deeper conversation with your spouse, do you listen just to completely understand or you listen simply to formulate your response?

YEBOAH: I listen. I am not sure whether it’s to understand her or formulate a response she would like but I let her feel heard.

DBM: How is your significant other faring in the position as a husband or wife?

YEBOAH: Awesome! Beautiful woman inside-out, excellent wife and an amazing mother to the kids.

DBM: Which of your wedding vows means the world to you?

YEBOAH: I used to take my vows seriously because it meant something to me. Forsaking all others was one of my favorite. I was very much in love when I said it to her, but when I encountered Adwoa, Helena, Yaa, Serwah and Sena, I realized I wasn’t going to be able to stick with a lifetime vow.

DBM: What is the most fun you both have had in the relationship?

YEBOAH: Sex hour is our most fun. We laugh, we experiment, we make the most out of positions; we mess ourselves up and then go bath.

DBM: Is the love for your husband or wife growing any stronger by the day?

YEBOAH: Every day! My wife doesn’t sit idle just to watch me provide for her and the kids. She hustles and will always have my back. She defends my honor over all others.

DBM: Do you trust your husband or wife?

YEBOAH: 100%. I am fulfilled in my marriage because my wife does what she says. On my part, with the exception of one secret I cannot share with her because it can break her heart, I share everything else with her without the fear of being judged. She is a genuine woman and would not hurt me intentionally.

DBM: How much time do you spend on your husband or wife?

YEBOAH: On week days, I am a very busy person, but when I get any free time, I make it a point to spend it with my wife. We hang out, plan date nights, chill, joke, fuck, keep each other company, catch up, etc.

DBM: Emotionally, do you feel connected than before?

YEBOAH: I am emotionally taken care of, yes! She’s there for me when I need her to be in it with me.

DBM: Do you feel secure in the marriage?

YEBOAH: Yes! I am able to share who I am and be vulnerable around her.

DBM: Where do you see you and your spouse in the next 10 years?

YEBOAH: Growing stronger than ever. In our marriage, I am a student of my wife. I’ve taken the time to learn more about her needs and all that there is to her that makes her different from me. Dave, I know what it feels like when my wife understands me; that is why I aim every day to understand her too.

DBM: What is your ideal sex life?

YEBOAH: Making my wife orgasm without touching her. Her legs shake madly, and goes weak at the knee; she kneels to worship me waist-down with a glorious blowjob. Dave, you don’t want to know details. It’s a calling only a few men can fulfill. I am one of the chosen.

DBM: Rate your current sex life (out of 10)

YEBOAH: 7/10. It can be better.

DBM: What is your understanding of love?

YEBOAH: My wife is my perfect understanding of love: she has taken her time to really get to know me. She understands my breathing pattern, she knows and understands how I think, and she gets how I love her and the kids. She knows I am not perfect but thinks I am perfect for her, just the way I am. She’s a very quiet and calm lady; I am loud and super fierce, but my noise compliments her silence.

DBM: Are you feeling loved in your marriage?

YEBOAH: My wife loves me and takes very good care of me. She puts smiles on my face, cuddles with me and chooses me every day, even though I am already hers. When we encounter any misunderstanding, she works it out with me amicably.

DBM: Are you a good spouse?

YEBOAH: I am really a good husband. I am a responsible father, I am dependable, I am committed to my marriage and our family; I help whenever I can with the chores at home.

DBM: Have you cheated on your husband or wife with another man or woman?

YEBOAH: I have but she doesn’t know. That was the one secret I mentioned earlier. My wife I think underestimates how shallow I can sometimes be as a man. I cheat once in a while, not every day, because I can get away with it or perhaps, I am willing to actually get away with it because of the kind of wife she is. She trusts me to a fault and I don’t do anything to make her doubt her trust in me. I married a good woman; she’s not troublesome.

DBM: Say something to your spouse from your heart.

YEBOAH: Babes, you are a gift to me and the kids. And because of how important you are to me, I am motivated to give my best to you. I cherish you as my partner for life. I will do my best not to play games with your heart.

Image Credits: Ketut Subiyanto

SPARK SPARKED

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Hello,

I am happily married. I am only beginning to realize that I can’t be faithful to him as I thought I would be. I never told my husband about my past. I told him what I knew could influence his decision to marry me. He thinks I am a good girl. Dave, I can be a good wife and everything else good girls are, but my past is loaded. I have 54 men under my belt. My husband is number 54. Twenty seven out of the number f***ked me well. I keep records when it comes to good sex. My husband is not part of the 27. We married because the first day I met him I knew he was the right one to make family. I forgot to factor in the importance of good sex. My concentration was on his fine looks, and his good character; he wasn’t doing bad for himself in his career. My husband is a likable guy. I was ok tolerating our sex life.

When children came in they took my mind off what it meant to have an orgasm. Dave, I can count the number of times I have experienced orgasm with my husband. I reached that height because I was thinking of some of the 27 characters. You get what I am trying to say right? It was still not a problem till I met one of the 27 that I really, really liked. Our relationship didn’t work because he told me he was going to engage his then wife. He is divorced. We met and the spark sparked. It was natural. No one had to say anything to start anything. It was there between us.

I told him I am married, but Dave, my heart was telling him I missed him. He asked for my number. He called my phone in my presence to say hello. That was that! I saved his digits. It’s been three days and he hasn’t called or said anything. I want to call and say hello too but I am scared of what else could follow after the hello. Of all the men I slept with, I think he’s the one I fell in love with. When we broke off, his last words to me were, I am in love with you. I ended our affair because he told me he was getting engaged. I have never had sleepless nights thinking about my husband like I am thinking of this ex. I’ve been a little distracted in thought because I don’t know what to do with him. I keep staring at his name on my phone and I can’t help but smile.

Do I want to go on a date with him? Yes. Do I want to kiss him? Yes. Do I want to touch his bare chest? Yes. Do I want to give him a BJ? Yes. Do I want him to go deeper and harder? Yes. The feeling is so bad, I want to have his child. I have been asking myself if it’s all lust but it’s deeper than lust. His last words to me before we broke off has come alive to me all over again. I don’t know what to do. I know you will tell me to think about my husband. The problem is, I can’t find my husband in my mind and heart since I met my ex.

Image Credit: Rahul Pandit

OVERWHELMED WITH LOVE

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Hello David, I hope you see and post my message before the 21st November. My wife has surprised me. I don’t know what to say. I can’t thank her enough. Cecilia is a silent follower of your Facebook, and I want to show my appreciation to her. She built a 3-bedroom house at Cantonments for me to rent it out or sell. She says it’s her own appreciation gesture to me for loving her well. These past nine years have been the most amazing experience because I am really in love with this person I call my wife, every day. I remember feeling the happiest I’d ever felt with Cecilia when she showed up the day she did for us to exchange numbers.

My wife was married when we first met. She had been married for three years, and her husband wasn’t satisfied with just her. Her husband suggested they introduce a third party in their relationship. He had the perfect girl but needed my wife’s agreement. According to Cecilia, she couldn’t navigate bringing someone else into their marriage. She wasn’t in agreement. Also, she didn’t want to be the reason why her ex-husband couldn’t be happy, and so she let him have his way. They were honest about what they were feeling, and talked about it. He wasn’t happy in their marriage; she loved him, but was not happy with his decision to have another woman. I met with her ex-husband when she found me. He was okay with his wife finding what made her happy. Her ex is the type that has no expectation of how he is meant to behave and feel. He was willing to allow himself and the women he was intimate with to feel different emotions, whether it’s love, jealousy, resentment, happiness, and connectedness.

On the evening of Saturday, December 29, 2012, my wife’s marriage ended before she even had a chance to have her last orgasm in the marriage. They were having sex in the kitchen, next to their sink which was stacked with dinner dishes. According to Cecilia, her ex looked down from across her shoulder and said, I want a divorce, right after he had cum. I can gaudily recall the defeat in her face and how she could barely look me in the eye when she was narrating her experience.

I met my wife on the 30th of December, 2012. She had closed from church and was shopping at the mall. I was entering my car when she tapped me on the shoulder. She told me she had seen me inside the mall and thought I was very attractive. She says she followed me. She asked if I were single and had any interest in another lady. When I answered no to both questions, she asked if I found her attractive. I did! She asked about my age. She told me she was about to divorce and needed someone to talk to. Mr. David Bondze-Mbir, I would have still talked to her if she had not mentioned getting divorced. The fact that she approached me, asking the right questions, made me interested.

I asked her for her phone number. The rest is history. Cecilia, I don’t know what I have done to deserve this, but I deserve you. I remember how much fun it was to laugh with you like crazy, back on that Sunday, 30th, 2021, when everything was fresh and new and exciting. I couldn’t have known what had happened to you on the 29th. Your bold approach at the mall that day informed me that I can enjoy marriage with passion and verve with you by my side. Mr. Dave, I have so much influence over the way I feel for my wife. That’s why I wake up every morning with the choice to love Cecilia like crazy, front and center. Babe, if you’re reading this message, imagine me again getting on one knee, and telling you all over again how I’d love to spend the rest of my life as your husband. You keep asking why I have a picture of you in my wallet. Cecilia, I LOVE YOU. That’s why.

Thank you for choosing me.
Thank you for being such a great friend.
Thank you for this awesome banku and okro stew you prepared for me to take to work today.
Thank you for being so patient, gentle, kind, smart, opinionated, and beautiful.
Thank you for saying yes when I proposed marriage to you.
Thank you for being my wife.
Thank you for being the right reason why I remain faithful to only you.
Thank you for everything, especially this 3-bedroom house. I am going to rent it out. I will save every Cedi from this property to build you something amazing as you. Children or no children, you are the family I always wanted to have.

Image Credit: Pixabay

WITHIN MY MEANS

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

This issue of the gentleman who doesn’t know whether to move on with the girlfriend or not due to his financial situation reminds me of my own story. I dated this beautiful lady from October 2011 to December 2018, even though for most part she was a student in the university. During the relationship, everything was hand to mouth; any money I earned, we spent it all. Nothing to save. I don’t even remember a time I had about GHs 1000 on me. But we were happy together even though I could meet all her demands and desires.

Somewhere in 2017, we started talking about marriage and unfortunately, she started planning for a plush event. I requested she brings her expectations down but she really wanted the nice wedding which I knew I couldn’t afford. Anytime she attended someone’s mega wedding, she would come and talk about it gleefully for me to know she wants something similar. I thought she was alone on that thought until I met her family; they even blew my mind with their criticism of someone else’s wedding we had attended together. We began counseling and I really started feeling the ‘heat’ when we started buying items for the wedding. I just couldn’t afford. I had a deep introspection and decided to quit the relationship.

It wasn’t easy at all because we had gone far with the counseling and even bought some items and taken measurements for our rings. But I had to make that decision because I knew I couldn’t afford her expectations; I would be unfair to her. When I told her about my decision, it wasn’t easy at all for the both of us. But I had gotten to the point I had to be firm with my decision.

After a year of breaking up, I met a wife who turned everything around for me. Some people accuse me of leaving a seven-year relationship and marrying someone I met within a year. But my wife helped me within the short period to stand on my feet. Sometimes, if you love someone, you have to let the person go especially when you cannot meet the person’s expectations.

Image Credit: Mithul Varshan

RANDY COLEMAN’S OPINION

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

My wife and I could have pulled off a lavish wedding if we wanted to. In fact, we are not doing badly financially. But God blessed me with the kind of woman who is much more interested in a better life and future for us and our children, than just a one-day show-off (wedding). She reasoned with me and we had a simple but beautiful engagement; went to court to sign, and we were married. We are happily married with a lovely baby boy, and no financial burden hanging over our heads.

This is a woman who holds two degrees in nursing with other specialties, and has practiced for over a decade as a Senior Nurse. When we started dating, she was already doing her Masters at GIMPA, drove her own car and lived independently. Talk of beauty, she’s got it; the type that other women see and go like… waow! You are beautiful! Yet, she’s very simple, kind-hearted, considerate, and so down to earth. This is the woman I call my wife; that special, priceless gem of a woman to be adored.

The thing is, a big wedding is definitely okay if you want it, and can afford it. But don’t throw away your happiness in pursuit of a one-day ceremony. It just doesn’t make sense. Most of us guys honestly do appreciate simple women who prioritize the future over and above today. That’s my truth!

Image Credit: Randy Coleman

THE VOICE WITHIN

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

I have shared my story with my siblings and in-law. Two of my best friends also know this story. I have a feeling some of the people who know about this may tag me after reading it on your page because some of them follow you, David. Please keep me anonymous if you’re to post it. It’s about how I met my wife and how I knew she was the one for me. My grandfather told me this —– be the kind of man that your wife wouldn’t want to cheat on. Don’t be the reason why a woman you love would cheat on. He said it to me in Twi, and it’s been my manual. He said a man is a total failure and an embarrassment if his wife cheats on him.

It all happened in the afternoon; it was a Saturday in 2011. My younger brother was celebrating his birthday on the 15th of October. He was 27 years old. He wanted the gob3 sold at my junction as his birthday treat. We drove to the junction to buy the beans and ripe plantain. A lady we met in the line was buying 2 cedis of everything mixed together. It was small in my opinion and I was wondering how she was going to be satisfied eating that. A voice inside my head asked me to buy her more but I refused to listen. After we were done buying ours, I saw an old woman approach the lady who had bought two cedis Gob3. She gave her food to her to eat. That small voice kept telling me to call her and give her money but I refused.

We drove home and me and my brother had a good time eating and drinking. An hour or so later, my doorbell rang. I opened the door and lo and behold, it was her. Mr. David, it was my first time seeing that lady in the Gob3 line in my hood. My house was about 25 houses away from the main junction where we bought the food. And she was at my door. These were her words to me when I opened the door, God says you have to feed me. I started laughing after hearing those words because I knew the promptings I also heard at the junction. It couldn’t have been a coincidence for a match or meant-to-be catch. She was a catch! No two ways about it, but she looked hungry and unkept that day, and so I couldn’t really see through her. I invited her in to go and cook something in the kitchen. I always have something in the kitchen. She prepared enough food for all three of us to eat in the evening. The food was good.

She took her bath in my house and Dave, without any makeup, I saw my future wife in her. We spoke for hours and I knew she was the one for me because she was a relationship-oriented lady. She had the till-death-do-us-part enthusiasm. The second thing was that I was not the only one excited about meeting her; she was just as excited about me as I was about her. I am not talking about sex here but she made my body feel glad. Usually, my body gets excited when I am about to get laid. This wasn’t the case this time.

My body was just happy being around her. We shook hands before she left and I was right about her. My body wanted to be touched or hugged by her. Sex didn’t cross my mind for a moth and over when we started talking. I didn’t feel any pressure to be perfect around her. She draws my attention to my mess all the time, but she tolerates my mess and makes me even laugh at myself always. I married my wife because I realized she was giving as much as she took from me. I trust my wife because she’s strong on my behalf when I am weak. She’s remained a big part of my everyday life since she came knocking at my door on 15/10/11. We married in 2013 and I still look forward to sharing and spending time with her. We chat on the phone all the time when we are at work; any and everything, I want to tell my wife first. If I was given the opportunity to create my own woman, I doubt that I could have come with someone as considerate and loving as my wife. What did I have to do to deserve a woman like my wife? Because I look forward to nothing other than seeing her every day.

Image Credit: Anna Shvets

MY FAVORITE PERSON

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

I have never believed in LOVE IN ITS ENTIRETY; maybe, apart from my dad’s love (which was short lived), I don’t trust any other, not even that of my mother. Her world of marriage was not something I looked forward to, neither have I ever thought I would get married someday. It seems like a ‘burden’ or a ‘risk’. I don’t take risks deliberately, if I can avoid, why go into it? My husband (I call him roommate), first knew he will marry me when he was about 19 years old in high school. He had not met me but saw my name on a school admission board for freshmen (apparently, he fell in love with my name). He was in his final year and had promised himself to marry the lady behind that name. He told his other cousin and a friend in school then. Lo and behold, I finally arrived in school only for him to discover, ‘I was out of his league’, as some of his mates were interested in me.

The first time I met him, it seemed like a déjà vu. I believed I had known him but nope, never do I recall meeting him anywhere, except that – he had the looks of my father. We didn’t communicate much as his exist on campus was near but he always spoke to me, writing little poems in a notebook and dropping it off in my class. (We were in the same department). We exchanged poems in that notebook but never sat together to have a chat till he left campus.

I returned home one vacation, visiting my cousin only to discover we were in the same neighborhood and lived close to my cousin’s house. Before visiting him for the first time at home, he had already told his family he had a girlfriend. (I had no idea I was his girlfriend) yet, that was how the family saw me. No one dared to ask. They passed funny jokes whenever I visited. (I left the area and returned years later). He still held on to me as ‘his girlfriend’ all that time. I was living my life.

Long story short, one night while escorting me home he said when I get a job, I will use my first few months’ salary to marry you. I laughed so hard because I knew he seemed too good a guy for me, (WE WERE NOT OFFICIALLY DATING. I still saw him as a ‘good friend’. I couldn’t see myself marrying him. He was too quiet for my liking. Truly to his words, he went to my sister one day and told her he wants to marry me; went ahead to my elder brother to inform him about his intentions to marry me. Note: no member of my family knew I was dating; neither was aware I had a serious boyfriend, except my big sister, who knows the men (general) in my life. The first time my family met him officially was the day of the ‘knocking’.

He had informed his family but I was the last person to know I was about to get married. When his father and Auntie called me to inform me, I was upset, and confronted him about it. He was confident I am the only woman he wants to be with. I gave them my own date to be married, as their notice was about a month ahead to the proposed date. I requested for a few more months. We got married within four months after his intention was made known. Our 14 years together has never seen any misunderstanding; he hates confrontation and he is a man of very few words. He is the worst person to pick a quarrel with because he won’t utter a word. A friend once told me you both are like oil and water. I am an extrovert and he is like a ‘TOTAL LOCKDOWN’; that’s if that can describe an extreme introvert. He lives in the shadows. He joins me on my night life, and I am like his ‘bad influence’. I taught him how to drink alcohol, socialize, club; how to express his anger, and also, talking to women without fear of offending them. Not all women are rude when approached. It depends on how you come at them.

Ask me about an Angel and I will point to him; he says he wanted a wife but got a social media manager too, (you send him WhatsApp messages and he takes months to reply. I have to check his messages for him. I don’t know about happily ever, but I am a happily spoiled wife. Marriage to him is like having a roommate who does all the work, while you take compliments. I live a simple life with him. I married him with a leap of faith in him. He is a man that met all my checklist: tribe, same taste in music, loves domestic chores; he is faithful, loves movies; he has a lovely skin color; very empathetic, and started life with me from the ground up. We had the exact country themed wedding I dreamed of. We are building a future together, but whatever happens in the future I am proud and glad I met a man who defines marriage as a commandment of commitment. He once said to me you are the woman I am having my every first with.

Least I forget, our poetic note book was our marriage wows. We’ve been married for 10 years now. Our wedding song was “When God Made You”. He is a man with no flaws, dignity, and the humblest to ever walk this earth. Whenever there is chaos, he is that ‘silver lining’. Mr. EC, may God bless you a million times. If you miss heaven, I will blame God; if I depart this earth some day before you, I want you to move on with your life, and enjoy it to the fullest. I promise to learn how to drive so you can stay home and enjoy your lockdown in peace. Allow me to also do the domestic chores; my mum says you make me lazy. Judith says you are a diplomatic person so I should allow you to do your things while I do my controversial things. Gizz said if you become a pastor someday, we will be poor because you can’t take offertory, and would probably give out all our savings.

Image Credit: Andres Ayrton

GOOD FOR ME IS THELMA

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Wifey and I have been married for 27 years. We were not boyfriend-girlfriend. She didn’t believe in that. She wanted a friend not boyfriend. She always says, friendship has less expectations. She wasn’t asking me for money or gifts when we were friends. I gave her money and gifts because of the way she carried herself. She did not give me sex in the friendship zone. I had my first sex with her on our wedding night. I knew she had deeper feelings for me but I was so much in love with her, I couldn’t remain her friend. I had to do the honorable thing. I married her. She was 36. I was 42.

David, I have been reading from your page and some of the stories people share makes me question whether or not they were ready before settling in marriage. From my experience, I don’t think girls should marry in their 20’s. Girls need to live their fullest lives as single women till their early or mid 30’s. This is my reason: Most guys start to discover who they are and who they want to spend their lives with in their mid to late 30’s. It’s at those ages that they feel growth within themselves. It’s at that age that they appreciate sacrifice and commitment. Don’t get me wrong, I know men in their 40’s and 50’s acting stupid but Dave, most guys understand what it means to be in a serious relationship from 36 up. I love sex like a dog on heat but in my 27 years marriage, the number of times I have been a couple with my wife outnumbers our sexual escapes times a million. Sex is great in marriage, but sex is not everything. That’s why when I read from the guys and girls cheating because of sex, I am convinced they weren’t ready to be married.

It’s okay to be single and content till you’re ready to be responsible. I married Thelma because I wanted to be her provider. My wife is a lawyer. She did not need my money then. She doesn’t need my money now. But as her husband, I am her provider. When we used to rent, I never asked her to contribute to rent or bills. Now we live the good life. When I lost my job, she stepped in for three years to be my provider. I knew where my wife was going in life and I believed she was worthy of a man who believed in her dreams. Later, I found out that I am deserving of a woman who is worthy of where I am going, and that was my Thelma.

Young people should not be rushing into marriage. Be patient. Wait. Have time for yourself. Grow, earn on your own merit, hard work and save. Have fun; make friends and don’t think so much about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. When you’re ready to marry, marry that friend who is good for you.

Image Credit: Alex Green

LINDA

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 15 Comments

I have been writing and deleting this story for 28 days now, Dave. I don’t know how to write it well. I want to celebrate my wife Linda, because these memories I share with her are precious for my life but I don’t know how to whirl my words to capture the moment. The first day I met my wife, it was drizzling on the motorway. She was walking very fast to find a place to hide. She was holding a bag; I stopped on the side to give her a lift.

She was going to Tema. It was one of those days that I felt like helping a stranger. When she sat in my car, I realized she was crying. She looked tired and wanted to take a rest. I wanted to know what was wrong with her, but she didn’t want to talk to me. When we reached the tollbooth, she asked me to buy her water and bread. She ate and drank side by side. She thanked me and answered my question; she was crying because no one would buy what she left the house to go and sell. What was she selling? Her wedding gown. She wanted just GHs 700 for  the dress because she was broke. When we got to Tema, she showed me the dress. What was the original price when she bought it fresh? GHs 3500. She didn’t want to sell it because she believed it held the pinnacles of her beauty; her romance, her story. But she needed money. She had sold almost all her valuables. I gave her GHs 1000 and asked her to keep the dress. We exchanged numbers and became friends. I got to know she was divorced and had a son.

I was not having second thoughts about my friendship with her. She was the one; I wasn’t hyped about her 24/7 but Dave, I wasn’t bored liking her almost every day. My day dreams were about her. How she related to me kept my interest in her. Our communication was on the daily basis and we got to know one another better. She no longer felt like my friend, she was my lover in my mind. She wasn’t manipulative; she doesn’t say disparaging things to me. She celebrates all of my accomplishments. I could not push her boundaries to get what I wanted. I respect my wife so much. Two months after becoming friends, I invited her to stay in my house for the weekend. She hasn’t left eight years later.

Since I met my wife, we’ve made each other better versions of ourselves. When we held hands on our wedding day, I told myself to remember that, Linda is my best friend. I didn’t care how long we had known each other. She is the mother of our children; the woman to care for me till death do us part. The woman I will love till we are old and grey and dead. David, words cannot describe how I felt when her son walked her down the aisle to marry me. Because she told me all about her first marriage, I have made sure in our eight years of marriage, not to clam up about any issue, nor withdraw from one another when we argue. We do not dwell too much on what hurts us between us. We do not hold onto a grudge; we have made sure not to walk on eggshells around one another, nor allow bitterness to build when we have disagreements. There hasn’t been an accumulation of hurts from our indifferences.

I don’t spend too much time on phone or social media. I make time for my wife and children. I don’t lie about my finances. I don’t have affairs; I help with house chores around the house. My children are my priority when I am home. I am keeping my promises to my wife and don’t have any intentions to sabotage my marriage.

My sweet Linda, you have allowed me to be imperfect. You have lived with all of my faults. I thank you for being everything and more than I deserve. My wife wore the same gown she was selling. We are writing our own story.

Image Credit: Yndira Dejesús

POPULAR

Contact Us

  • maildmbir@gmail.com

Copyright 2022 David B - All Rights Reserved | Design: Javanet Systems