MISSING LINK

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

I think my husband is funny. I read a message he sent to his other woman about why he needed to take a breather from our marriage. He told the girl something was missing in our marriage and he thinks he has found it in her. Dave, my husband has never discussed this missing link with me. In fact, I thought we were in a loving relationship. I haven’t confronted him as I wouldn’t know what to say. I realized he’s been deleting his messages with her lately and it was irking me on some level.

From their past conversations I knew the other lady had my husband’s attention and I was jealous and restless about it. I didn’t want to jump into conclusions because I have male friends who are close and it hasn’t necessarily equaled disloyalty. That is why I didn’t want to lead with the presumption that my husband was romantically involved with her. I read a story on your Facebook timeline from the woman who hired a taxi driver to spy on her husband. I did the same thing and the result is as I suspected all along. My husband expects me not to cross the lines of fidelity, but there he is emotionally and physically involved with another woman. I talked to a friend who set her husband up with another woman to teach him a bitter lesson.

She talked to the woman and a beautiful young girl was loaned to me to arrange on my husband. He took the bait and everything has been going according to plan. I am being smart with my moves too because he has failed to deliver the love and passion he promised me when we married. I plan to leave the marriage someday but till that day, I need ideas for the kind of lesson to deliver to my husband; something to wake him up for the rest of his life when it comes to taking a woman’s devotion for granted.

Image Credit: Ann H

HIDDEN AND DENIED

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

I am a 39-year-old-man with a biological clock ticking away and giving me baby fever. I have desired to be a family man for years. I was married for eight years without a child. I made a few mistakes and my wife and I went our separate ways. Before the divorce, she was also seeing someone. Five months into the divorce process, she started to show. I thought she was putting on weight but it wasn’t weight. She doesn’t wear loose-fitting clothes…. all her dresses used to hug her body. She wasn’t wearing those to court anymore. She even wore jackets to three of our hearings. Dave, my wife doesn’t do thick material. She was trying to conceal a growing bump. She finally couldn’t hide it anymore. It’s been one year since our divorce was granted. I haven’t seen the baby, but mutual friends who have seen her all tell me she has my eyes and forehead. She hasn’t shared any pictures of the child on any of her social media platforms.

Do I have the right to request for a DNA test to know if she is my baby? The other guy has named her, so she carries his surname but I want to be sure it’s really his. My ex and I don’t talk so it’s very difficult for me to navigate through this issue.

Image Credit: Jeffrey Riley

YESTERDAY TODAY

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Dear David,

Can I use a personal experience to speak to ladies who read from your Facebook page? The man I used to love yesterday belongs to someone else today. Before today, we wanted to explore life; me and my ex-husband. We started life together living in a one-bedroom apartment, somewhere in Dzorwulu. We started adjusting to the wind and grind of real life after our wedding and honeymoon quickly. We were naked to win. It was a girl. We lay bare two years later, it was a boy. Dave, I follow through a promise; everything I said before ‘I do’, I meant it. So, you can imagine when I grew a sense of shock after the first revelation. It was stunning; it was sad. I was heartbroken. I could not believe my own was her own.

I ran through all my previous moments with my ex-husband that had made me feel loved. I was prepared not to judge him as a man; I was prepared not to judge him as the husband who couldn’t follow through the vows he made to me on the altar. I stayed calm to forgive. In fact, I believe in talking. He said romance between us was dwindling. What could I do to inspire a better sex life? ABCDEFG, he wanted; I did! It spiced things up a bit.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t be the husband he vowed to be weeks later. He couldn’t be the man I needed him to be, and so I had to respect who he was, and choose the man he was or find the man I wanted for me. Dave, there was a great guy underneath all the affairs and lies. My ex-husband has a lot of qualities I want, but he was not the man I needed to be married. I had to be single again.

Six years later, my heart started to pound with strange excitement. Mr. Arthur wanted to ‘Mrs. Arthur’ me. I had two weeks to think about his proposal. All at once, in-between the proposal week, I saw my main gate open. It was my ex-husband.

“I want to make it up to you.”

He wanted a third chance. Dave, have you ever thrown away garbage and gone back to the truck to pick back the trash? 2022 is my 7-year Mrs. Arthur ride. I said “Yes” to Mr. Arthur, because his actions tell me beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is the husband I need. The going has been tough; we fight, but with Mr. Arthur, it is worth every sleepless night and bad days.

Image Credit: Markus Spiske

WRONG NUMBER

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Hi David,

I want to share a story with you. 12 years ago, I met a woman on a bus. I liked her. We talked and she gave me her number. I didn’t have a phone, so I memorized her number before we went our separate ways. I went to buy a phone the following morning; dialed the number I was sure I memorized. I mixed two numbers and I hadn’t realized it. Another lady answered the call. She told me it a wrong number. Her name was not the name I mentioned. I was about to hang up when she told me to hold.

She’s now my wife. But before all that, she told me she used to politely let callers know of their mistakes so they hung up. She stopped being polite because her ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend, the girl he was cheating on her with when they were dating – was giving her number to guys she met at the club, and fucked with. My wife says, strange men were calling and asking her out on the phone. The other woman was giving my wife’s name to these men and it was all chaos.

Back to my story, she wanted to talk to me when I wrongly called her number. In fact, she was really nice to me on the phone. Dave, we talked for 17 months; we did not exchange pictures through email, though we both lived in Accra. I asked her to marry me though we had not met. I didn’t want to rush the process. She didn’t rush the process. In the past, I was always in a hurry for a relationship and it caused me to make crappy choices about the women I dated. I didn’t know how to be alone; I was taking just about any girl that seemed decent to avoid the feeling of loneliness and horniness. The encounter with my wife made me realize I was better than that, and I deserved better.

The first time I met my woman face-to-face, my family accompanied me to her father’s house to ask for her hand in marriage. Her smile was enough. I knew I had made the right decision; the warm embrace of our first hug made me cry. I didn’t want to let go. Dave, this is a woman I found myself calling every day, wanting to know about her day. She was always in my thoughts. At work, I was replaying our previous conversations over and over. My stomach and heart took a leap every time she called me. I knew she loved me too because we were dying to hear from each other. I couldn’t stop smiling; I was feeling more hopeful and positive about myself. Till date, I make time for the woman I love; I crave for my wife like I crave for my favorite food. I knew I was in love when it was crystal clear to me that I was ignoring other attractive women. I am still ignoring them and all the temptations that come with it.

Love is real! ‘I love you’ is always on my lips; it rains on my wife because I truly love everything about her. I feel very happy in my marriage. It feels right, Dave. I want to tell every single person, stop putting pressure on yourself for being single. Stop thinking that you need to satisfy a certain timetable because of your age. You have not failed at anything if you’re still single. As long as there is life and breath in you, you have all the time in the world to search and be found. Stop thinking about biological clocks; my wife gave birth to our first child after nine years of marriage. You have not failed at anything. You will get there when the time is right.

Image Credit: Roman Odintsov

TRAPPED HORROR

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Mr. Dave, something happened at home and I suspect my wife to be behind it. I don’t like drinking from a cup. I like it when I drink water or liquids from a bottle/box. My wife hates it when I do that and have been complaining. Because of that I don’t touch a particular bottle she pours water from. Last week, I got home from work very thirsty. I opened the fridge and took one of the other bottles and started drinking. I drank a lot before realizing I was swallowing some things in the water; dead ants, dried spiders, cockroaches and dried crickets. I don’t know what else I swallowed. Dave, someone intentionally gathered these things and put them in the bottle and filled it with water and put it in the fridge for me to drink. We’re three adults staying in my house. My wife, her mother, me and our three months’ baby. My in-law is helping us with the baby; I don’t think the woman will ever do that to me. When I showed what she had done to her, she laughed and pretended she didn’t know anything about it. I don’t understand why someone can be so wicked like this. I don’t think I can eat from her kitchen again.

Image Credit: Maria Orlova

BROKEN BUT UNDETERRED

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

When I was 12 years my parents took me to a place. It was supposed to be a prayer camp but I found out later we weren’t going on a spiritual retreat. The host and his wife welcomed us and gave my parents water. I was given a drink. That was the last thing I remember when I woke up at dawn. Dave, I didn’t know how or when I fell asleep. My parents weren’t in the room I found myself in. It was so dark all around me. I started screaming and crying and calling my parents when I realized the door was locked. No one was there. Minutes later, someone turned on a light outside the room. I saw a shadow and his familiar voice. It was the host. He asked me to keep quiet. He wouldn’t tell me about where my parents had gone. They fed me, gave me water to drink and bath. I was bathing in the presence of two men. I was accompanied by two men whenever I needed to use the toilet. That was my routine for three years. My parents didn’t visit me. My brother and sisters didn’t know where I had been taken to.

At age 15, the host forced himself on me. He raped me three different times. He explained that I needed to know what I could be missing if I continued in my sinful ways. Dave, I am a lesbian and I knew at an early age that I was different. I liked pictures of girls in magazines. Maybe I left so many clues for my mom to catch up because I received beatings anytime I was close to girls. I wasn’t allowed to play with my friends who were girls in the neighborhood till I was sent to that camp. What my parents didn’t know was that when I turned 15, the host made me strip naked at dawn for his intercession visits. I learnt how to kneel before a man at 15. I learnt how to suck a man’s dick at 15. I lost my virginity to an older man at 15. I learnt how to survive at 15. My dad came for me three weeks after my 15th birthday. I have not told my parents about what went down when they left me with their spiritual father.

I am 26 years old now and my mom is fixing me with her friend’s son in marriage. She gave my number to him without telling me. He lives and works in Canada. I know the guy. He’s cool and doing very well for himself. But I like girls. He is in Ghana for 5 months and he wants to return to Canada with his wife, me. Do I tell him the truth so he backs off? Everybody is telling me he’s the right man for me. I unsubscribe to the idea that people who refuse to listen to and respect me, people who have never met or known me can tell me who I am or what I should be.

Image Credit: Kritsada Seekham

ONE AND THE SAME

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David, hi!

There is a first to everything. I want to share an experience I had. I used to be the typical guy who never noticed small things as big. I was not very attentive and people around me were exasperated. I never understood why. If it’s not my main purpose at a specific time, I hardly notice anything. Okay, I saw a lady in a nice dress at Boti Falls in 2011. First, it was her colorful dress. I saw her face and she was nice. I kept seeing her in-between the rest of the trip in the Eastern Region. It wasn’t a big coincidence because most tourists were going to the same spots. We did not talk.

2012, I saw her again at Mole National Park. We noticed the coincidence in this. We smiled, and still did not interact. 2014, I bumped into her at Wli Waterfalls. She laughed and said, “Hello!”. Apparently, we had similar travel styles and tastes. 2015, I joined a holiday trip to Kintampo Falls, organized by a company. It was an open trip to the general public who could afford the fee. We went by bus. Dave, guess who just happened to sit next to me on our bus? Yep! The lady from 2011, 2012 and 2014.

I didn’t waste time. I asked for her number. I asked if she was single. “Yes”. I was single too. The trip was my first date with her and it was exhilarating and nerve-wrecking. I already had drawn parallels between our mutual interests in sightseeing. I wasn’t sure how to direct our conversations, and so I commented on the dress she had worn to Boti Falls. She was surprised I could remember. She wasn’t interested in what I did for a living. She was rather interested in my background and line of thinking. She was paying attention to how I was responding to her questions. Before we arrived in Kintampo, she had gauged my character.

Four months later, I knew she was the ‘The One’. We married in 2016, and have been together since. Emotionally, we are not distant. I work long hours but I have not lost my ability to balance my job and home life. I don’t feel neglected or taken for granted. My wife says she hasn’t felt that too. We have a lot of intimate conversations via WhatsApp during work days. When we argue or disagree and engage in our shouting matches, there is no resentment. We yell in our fights rather than hate each other. 2011, 2012, 2014 and 2015 made me realize that there is no other woman out there meant for me.

‘Till death do us part’ doesn’t scare me. Most buddies of mine are cheating on their wives because they believe there are people out there that they are missing their chances to be with, because they settled with their significant others. ‘What if’ doesn’t influence me to stray, because I’ve made a decision to only see the good in my wife when I am tempted not to. I don’t need any other proof to know that I am with the right woman. I am confident in my love for my wife to the extent that, I refuse to give in to illicit desires.

Men can be good if they choose to be good!

Image Credit: Anna Shvets

Torn Apart by Indecisiveness

Written by david.admin on . Posted in Blog.

I’ve been working with one of my exes for 4 years. She wasn’t a fling; we had something solid for 3 years before going our separate ways. Prior to our split she had done 4 abortions. I wasn’t ready to father a child and so I insisted, with the promise we would have kids after marriage. We never married.

Professionally, we make a good team. We interact frequently because we work together on projects. I am married to a wonderful woman. We’ve been together for 8 years. We have 3 children. My ex has been married for 6 years and they’re yet to have an issue. Dave, till she mentioned she’s unable to have children because of the abortions I made her undergo years ago, the workplace wasn’t a minefield of apprehension and disruption for me. Guilt prevents me from pretending I made her undergo that procedure. She is one of the most important people I have ever known, and now I feel bad about what I made her do years ago. She did not want to tell me. It was a conversation I overhead when she was on the phone with her gynecologist. She’s already a big part of my everyday working life. I’ve known about her phone call since November 2021. Before November we had handled ourselves professionally in spite of our awkward history. Now, I am not able to be professional. I am attracted to her again. I know guilt has a role to play in all this but I am beginning to realize I still have a deep-rooted love for her.

I’ve kissed her and hoped we could rekindle a relationship. She’s trying to keep her distance from me because she doesn’t want to revisit our past. I don’t want her to push me away. I am in love with her and I want to make things right. I am at a point where I am entertaining the thought of divorcing my wife for her. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I failed a very good woman for another good woman that I want to now divorce so I can go back to my ex. I don’t want to talk to any counsellor. I am looking for practical views from people who can understand what I am feeling.

Image Credit: Alex Green

Mom’s Golden Opportunity Bears Major Consequences

Written by david.admin on . Posted in Blog.

I am not sure of the father of one of my children. I am just anxious because a brilliant opportunity has been presented to me by my baby’s daddy. I am married with children – one of the kids is not my husband’s. This incident happened a few years ago and my husband doesn’t know. We had hit rock bottom and I accidentally fell in a convenient arm when he visited Ghana. Uncle Dave, my periods were regular, so I knew when I was most fertile. That is how I was able to work out who the dad is; I have done a DNA test and I was right. The father of this particular child knows about it.

He wants to play an active role in the child’s upbringing. He has told me that he has developed feelings for him too. Everything happened so fast for me. We slept together before I told him I was married. I didn’t know I had fallen out of love with my husband. I have been tolerating my husband all this while and I feel sad for me. I am secretly preparing to send the child to the UK, to the biological father.

I am also planning not to return to Ghana. I will be traveling as the fiancée of the other man. My children will be in good hands. Their father is a good man. Also, my husband is having a secret relationship with a good woman. I know he will not feel alone. I am feeling guilty because of the children I will be leaving behind. I want to know if there is anyone among your followers who forgave a mother who abandoned them.

Image Credit: Engin Akyurt

Husband’s Deceptive Behaviors Baffles Wife

Written by david.admin on . Posted in Blog.

I am a 33 years old married woman with 2 children, 3 years and 7 months respectively. We’ve been married for 3 years; I recently realized that my husband has been so protective of his phone, he will spend hours and hours in the bathroom on his phone anytime he has to use the place. This raised my suspension and moreover, his work is such that he has to be traveling sometimes both outside the country and outside of Accra. I got access to his phone recently whiles he was sleeping and realized he has been having a flirtatious chat with an ex. Someone he told me cheated on him with another guy whiles they were dating. In fact,  that was why he ended their relationship.

I realized he has set the lady up with her fashion business, and this happened after our marriage (a year after our marriage). He has been talking to the lady about his building plans, the same building plans we have as a family (telling her about all he has done concerning our dream home). I also realized she was not the only lady he flirts with, there are others. Another lady who confessed to him being her crush whiles they were in junior high school, and engaging in his usual flirtatious messages. Afraid of being left in the dark (not prepared for what is coming) I confronted him, and all he could do was get annoyed for touching his phone, and me not being appreciative of the husband I have; because when he is not on his usual business trips, he is always home (working from home); and that, he is better than most of the men out there. He used his own brothers as examples, they have given birth outside their marriages and he hasn’t. He was unapologetic of his actions.

I decided to go on the ex’s page to see what she looks like and why my husband is behaving that way. I realized she got married this year, and in almost all of her photos on FB, my husband has commented on how sweet she is (not before our marriage). I had the same cheating issue with the guy I was dating and that made me leave him, I am very worried I have ended up in this same issue, something I have been running away from. Okay, so the crazy person I am has dug down to this ex’s information on her husband and have given it to a friend of mine who is single to start chatting, and if possible, end up seducing. If my friend ends up falling for this guy, then that’s her problem not mine. But please David, I don’t know what to do for my husband to stop all this.

Image Credit: Pixabay

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