UNDENIABLY SEXY AND MYSTERIOUS

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Mr. Dave, hi!

What I do for a living looks like prostitution but I am a lady with an MSc. in Accounting and Finance. I love sex, yes, but I have big dreams too. Most of my clients are married men. I want to focus on other things; marriage is not part of my expectations. Dave, I am happy and satisfied with what I do and I don’t want to change what’s working for me by complicating things with marriage and children.

I am sending you this message because one of my clients wants to marry me. He knows my mother and has gone to tell her about his plans for me. He knows I give sex for money. He was married when he became a client but is divorced now. After his first booking, he wanted more of me, and so he booked me for himself for six months and paid. I got pregnant and aborted. I didn’t tell him about it. Six months is over and he wants to book another six months service. Old clients want to book my services.

Dave, If I am to calculate what I make from individual bookings in a day, I make more than the six months he pays for. Because he is someone I know and like, I don’t over charge. He can’t afford me. He doesn’t understand why I have a good job yet sleep with men. He doesn’t understand that it’s not about the money. It’s the fact that I love sex; variety of sex is what I like, not money. I love to smell different men, etc. I don’t want to marry because I don’t fancy the idea of being tied down to someone. Wedding dress, food, liquor, venue rings all these are frivolous to me; it’s cost.

Also, it’s married men patronizing my services; not only me, married men patronize the services of my friends in similar business. I can’t buy into it. My best friend’s husband got the number of my service and booked for three hours. We met and we were both surprised. Sex happened and he wants more. That is why I am writing to you, dear David. It’s complicated. He says my friend neglects his needs, and that she is more focused on the children, and she’s always tired when she comes to bed. He says there is no fun in their sex life. The sex he wants at home he doesn’t get. He says with me and other women, he’s able to express himself in whatever way he is unable to do at home with his wife. He says she doesn’t give him attention so he’s always seeking for it at work and social media.

I know my friend is not boring but he says she is. Now he’s saying he connects more with me than his wife. Dave, we just met and hit it once but he is saying there is something undeniably sexy about the mystery of me. In all honestly, I love his energy in bed. I am only worried about my friend. Should I tell her what her husband says is happening in their marriage or strictly treat this new encounter as another business? I want to do the right thing.

Image Credit: Maddy Freddie

GOOD FOR ME IS THELMA

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Wifey and I have been married for 27 years. We were not boyfriend-girlfriend. She didn’t believe in that. She wanted a friend not boyfriend. She always says, friendship has less expectations. She wasn’t asking me for money or gifts when we were friends. I gave her money and gifts because of the way she carried herself. She did not give me sex in the friendship zone. I had my first sex with her on our wedding night. I knew she had deeper feelings for me but I was so much in love with her, I couldn’t remain her friend. I had to do the honorable thing. I married her. She was 36. I was 42.

David, I have been reading from your page and some of the stories people share makes me question whether or not they were ready before settling in marriage. From my experience, I don’t think girls should marry in their 20’s. Girls need to live their fullest lives as single women till their early or mid 30’s. This is my reason: Most guys start to discover who they are and who they want to spend their lives with in their mid to late 30’s. It’s at those ages that they feel growth within themselves. It’s at that age that they appreciate sacrifice and commitment. Don’t get me wrong, I know men in their 40’s and 50’s acting stupid but Dave, most guys understand what it means to be in a serious relationship from 36 up. I love sex like a dog on heat but in my 27 years marriage, the number of times I have been a couple with my wife outnumbers our sexual escapes times a million. Sex is great in marriage, but sex is not everything. That’s why when I read from the guys and girls cheating because of sex, I am convinced they weren’t ready to be married.

It’s okay to be single and content till you’re ready to be responsible. I married Thelma because I wanted to be her provider. My wife is a lawyer. She did not need my money then. She doesn’t need my money now. But as her husband, I am her provider. When we used to rent, I never asked her to contribute to rent or bills. Now we live the good life. When I lost my job, she stepped in for three years to be my provider. I knew where my wife was going in life and I believed she was worthy of a man who believed in her dreams. Later, I found out that I am deserving of a woman who is worthy of where I am going, and that was my Thelma.

Young people should not be rushing into marriage. Be patient. Wait. Have time for yourself. Grow, earn on your own merit, hard work and save. Have fun; make friends and don’t think so much about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. When you’re ready to marry, marry that friend who is good for you.

Image Credit: Alex Green

LOOKING BACK AT ME

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

I don’t even know how to start my story, but I need to get it off my chest. I remember being sexually abused at four or five years old. Even though I was just a child, I remember he was a friend to my family; especially with my big sister. He was the type I could go to his room and my parents wouldn’t be bothered. All that I could remember was, he made me sit on his lap and he would insert his fingers in my private parts. I can’t remember the exact times it happened but I know I didn’t tell anyone about it. I can’t remember if he threatened me or not but I couldn’t tell my parents or siblings.

Unfortunately for me too, he left the town as I was growing up, and so I actually forgot about the whole incident. Fast forward to about age nine or ten; my cousin from my father’s side came to live with us. She was about four years older than me. We got along a lot and almost did everything together. Anytime we played, I remember letting her insert her fingers in my private part and sometimes too, I did same to her. It continued for a while. My mom was the strict type, so I couldn’t open up to her like I was supposed to. As little as I was, my mom thought I was sleeping around and was always ready to beat me.

I found solace in my cousin and rather told her my problems. She was the first person I ran to when I first menstruated. I knew a lot at age 11 concerning sex, even though I had not done it before. Well, I’m sure it’s the type of friends I made in school. I had a boyfriend all this while, but we never did anything sexual. Eventually, I lost my virginity at age 13. The sad thing I told my self was, I have done well; at least, I’m 13 and all those around me had done it, so what was I waiting for?

31-12-08 to 1-01-2009: I gave it all to my then ‘serious boyfriend’. From there, I had a series of relationships; most of them, I would go in with my all but along the line, I would say what if he cheats? Why don’t I add another one in case…. After high school, I had slept with about 20 men. I went to tertiary and had about six different relationships, which all led to sex. I don’t know if it was desperation or I was just being plain stupid. I really crave for love but I’m mostly left or I leave. I had so much pride in me that, I would rather replace you than to apologize or talk things out.

Those that I was willing to apologize to also didn’t want me anymore. At age 26, I had a body count of 40 sexual partners, with five abortions to my credit. Three out of the five abortions were for a married man. Tell me, am I not stupid? As at now, I have a job; but even with that, I slept with my boss for it. I gathered courage and broke up with the married man but recently, we have gotten in contact because the guy I left him for is in the States and even that one kraa, I have slept with someone else with the aim that, the US guy won’t take me seriously. Unfortunately, the new guy doesn’t really seem to be serious about me or want anything. He’s scared I guess! I actually look organized, but deep down, I’m not.

The married man I was dating has started calling me and giving me attention again. The US guy has also started acting up because he claims since he went, we haven’t had video sex; mind you – he was here in July and we had a lot of sex. In all, I feel so lonely; I feel I have wasted my life and I feel I would never be loved genuinely. Am I desperate? I’m now working and my salary is okay. Apart from the married man, I have never really been asking for help from guys I date. I break down any time I remember how I have cheapened myself. I really crave for love, especially now that I feel I’m ready to forsake everything and start all over again. But how?

I always believed I am a strong person but sometimes, the strongest gets weak. I have always wanted to talk to people but I’ve got trust issues. I am sharing this here to get this horrible life and secret out of my chest. In all, I blame myself and my mom because honestly, she failed me and I pray I don’t ever fail my children if I ever have any. I want to be their best friend. I want my future kids to always come to me without fear, and I don’t want my children to repeat my mistakes. I pray for forgiveness all the time and I pray true love finds me; and when it does, hopefully, I would be able to see it clearly and give my all without messing it up.

Image Credit: Aviz

I DO… I DID… I’M DONE

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

You are doing a wonderful job on social media. Your platform is one of the neatest and diverse with different shades of people’s experiences. My wife introduced me to your page in 2019 and I have been reading every now and then. I want to share my journey with my wife for you to publish. I was going to print something at the internet café. The computer I was using had unclosed tabs. The guy who had used it before me forgot to sign off his Yahoo account. Dave, I was closing all tabs to start using it when I chanced on a website whoever was using had opened.

It was a video chat room. I signed up. I chose to chat with ladies from Ghana. The first connection I had my first chat was with my wife. I was striving to be memorable by leaving a lasting impression on her during our chat. She told me her phone had been stolen so she gave the phone number of her sister. She was living with her sister. I gave my number to her. Everything was going fine until ECG took their light. I didn’t go home that day. I waited for four hours till the lights were on. I sat next to the same computer to start over again. I went to the website and she had left me three messages. I replied and she came online. We continued for another hour and half before asking me to call her sister to buy her kenkey when coming home. Lol.

Fast forward, we became friends and dated and married. We have two children.

I cheated on my wife and I don’t know how she found out. I came from work one evening and she was not home. She left two pictures on our bed; the picture of me kissing and fondling the woman I was cheating on her with at the beach. That picture must have been taken months back because the time I saw it on our bed, it had passed seven months. My wife didn’t return to the house that evening. Our children weren’t in the house. Her phone was off. I called my mother-in-law and she told me her daughter had dropped off my children at her house. I went for them. The following day she didn’t come home. Mother-in-law said she didn’t know where her daughter had gone. I didn’t believe her but that was her story. My mother called me to tell me about the two pictures someone had brought to her. Same pictures as the ones I found in bed.

Dave, for two years, I did not hear from my wife. Nobody knew where she was. Some people knew but I think she told them not to inform me. For two years, my wife did not post on social media. The day she made her first post on Facebook after two years of silence, she was sharing her graduation pictures from Princeton University; her second Master’s degree. My wife left our children with me for two years to go to American without informing me. When she came back home, I didn’t argue with her. I was expecting an explanation and apology; she hasn’t apologized. Her explanation is always, I went to clear my head so I got another degree. She will pull her certificate and school ID to make her point.

Dave, in all truism, do you think my wife went to America to only study? Which woman leaves her children for two years? Even though our parents were helping with the children in her absence, don’t you think she owes me an explanation? It’s been six years since she did this and she’s not said anything different. And it’s been bothering me; because I know the woman I married, she is vengeful. She cheated on me too. I just want to know so I can call it a draw.

Image Credit: Stanley Morales

HE IS THE PRESENT PAST

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

I feel very ashamed to be sharing this with you but Dave, do not judge me. I am only human. On my wedding day, I was in a heated conversation with my ex-boyfriend about my decision to marry my husband. My ex is divorced but he was married when we were dating. I was seeing him because he had told me he was getting a divorce. Two years in a relationship with him and his divorce wasn’t happening, so I moved on. I love my husband but I was thinking about my ex when I was saying “I do”. Ten months after I was married, my ex got his divorce. It all happened too fast Dave.

I have been having sex and secret meetings with my ex since I found out about his divorce. He has rented a house where he now lives and that’s where we meet. He wants me to divorce my husband for him. I believe him. I know he is in love with me. Dave, I take my ring off anything I leave the house to go to work. It’s like, I want to be single when I am not home. When I compare the sex between me and my husband and me and my ex, I love the sex my ex gives me. I like the way my ex treats me; I like the way my ex talks to me. He hasn’t changed. He is still the same person I have always known and admired.

I don’t want to throw away a good marriage and family. My husband is a good guy; he takes very good care of our children. But I am scared about pushing my own happiness aside all because I have a husband and children. David, I never stopped loving my ex-boyfriend. I moved on because I didn’t want to remain the side chick of a married man. He was in the process of divorcing; I just couldn’t wait for so long that time. I regret rushing to date my husband, because if I had exercised patience, I would be with the man I truly love. I have more sex with my ex than I have with my husband. Sometimes, I get so tired from my meetings with my ex, I have to fake headaches and sleepiness to avoid my husband’s advances.

I don’t know what to do. I am scared of breaking my home and making things complicated for my children. I am scared of what people will say if I leave my husband for my ex. I am scared of losing my ex because I am still married to my husband. My ex understands the situation I find myself in and he is willing to give me time to make a decision. I don’t know what to do; I want to be happy, Dave. How do I find happiness in this situation?

Image Credit: Arina Krasnikova

A LOT UNSAID

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Please keep me anonymous. Me and my wife are dealing with a complicated issue that is getting us worried. Our close friend died last year. She was in the process of divorcing her husband when we gave her and her kids our spare rooms. She was also battling cancer. Her husband isn’t our buddy-buddy as his wife was but he is a friend to me and my woman. Our friend died due to the cancer but before she died, she wrote a legal document in the presence of her attorney requesting that me and my wife bury her. She didn’t want anything to do with her ex-husband; she didn’t want to have anything to do with her own family.

Dave, a lot was going on in her life which she left unsaid. That was part of the reason why it was hard for me to tell if she was actually in an unhappy marriage or she was just going through a rough patch. We knew something wasn’t right when she moved to our house with her children. Our late friend, who used to talk to my wife says our friend’s family were on the side of her husband and believed in his lies more than her complaints. Also, because he was good at giving her mother, father and siblings gifts and money, they assumed he was a good man for their daughter. But she was suffering in the marriage. The contents in the legal document she prepared before she died stated that we should send her children to her ex-husband the first week after her death. It also said we were to buy a coffin and bury her without holding a funeral. She’s an insurer and had left money to cover her coffin and burial processes.

She wrote in the document that she did not want her mother, father, sisters, brothers, ex-husband or children around her corpse. She wanted only me and my wife to bury her privately without fanfare. Her last instruction was that she didn’t want us to show any member of her family where we buried her. Her lawyer ensured we had honored her last wishes. Th problem is that, when we took the children to her ex-husband’s office and informed him about his ex-wife’s demise, he called his in laws to tell them. The family is now on our neck to produce the buried body. It’s been three months and we are not having it easy. They brought the police to our house, etc. But because there is a legally binding document in our favor, there hasn’t been any arrests. But her family is always at our main gate in black and red attires,  demanding for their corpse. I was telling my wife we show them where we buried their relative but she and the lawyer are insisting we do not go against her dead friend’s wishes.

Dave, the woman is dead. What else can a dead body do? Wouldn’t it be easier showing them where we buried her?

Image Credit: Cottonbro

LINDA

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 15 Comments

I have been writing and deleting this story for 28 days now, Dave. I don’t know how to write it well. I want to celebrate my wife Linda, because these memories I share with her are precious for my life but I don’t know how to whirl my words to capture the moment. The first day I met my wife, it was drizzling on the motorway. She was walking very fast to find a place to hide. She was holding a bag; I stopped on the side to give her a lift.

She was going to Tema. It was one of those days that I felt like helping a stranger. When she sat in my car, I realized she was crying. She looked tired and wanted to take a rest. I wanted to know what was wrong with her, but she didn’t want to talk to me. When we reached the tollbooth, she asked me to buy her water and bread. She ate and drank side by side. She thanked me and answered my question; she was crying because no one would buy what she left the house to go and sell. What was she selling? Her wedding gown. She wanted just GHs 700 for  the dress because she was broke. When we got to Tema, she showed me the dress. What was the original price when she bought it fresh? GHs 3500. She didn’t want to sell it because she believed it held the pinnacles of her beauty; her romance, her story. But she needed money. She had sold almost all her valuables. I gave her GHs 1000 and asked her to keep the dress. We exchanged numbers and became friends. I got to know she was divorced and had a son.

I was not having second thoughts about my friendship with her. She was the one; I wasn’t hyped about her 24/7 but Dave, I wasn’t bored liking her almost every day. My day dreams were about her. How she related to me kept my interest in her. Our communication was on the daily basis and we got to know one another better. She no longer felt like my friend, she was my lover in my mind. She wasn’t manipulative; she doesn’t say disparaging things to me. She celebrates all of my accomplishments. I could not push her boundaries to get what I wanted. I respect my wife so much. Two months after becoming friends, I invited her to stay in my house for the weekend. She hasn’t left eight years later.

Since I met my wife, we’ve made each other better versions of ourselves. When we held hands on our wedding day, I told myself to remember that, Linda is my best friend. I didn’t care how long we had known each other. She is the mother of our children; the woman to care for me till death do us part. The woman I will love till we are old and grey and dead. David, words cannot describe how I felt when her son walked her down the aisle to marry me. Because she told me all about her first marriage, I have made sure in our eight years of marriage, not to clam up about any issue, nor withdraw from one another when we argue. We do not dwell too much on what hurts us between us. We do not hold onto a grudge; we have made sure not to walk on eggshells around one another, nor allow bitterness to build when we have disagreements. There hasn’t been an accumulation of hurts from our indifferences.

I don’t spend too much time on phone or social media. I make time for my wife and children. I don’t lie about my finances. I don’t have affairs; I help with house chores around the house. My children are my priority when I am home. I am keeping my promises to my wife and don’t have any intentions to sabotage my marriage.

My sweet Linda, you have allowed me to be imperfect. You have lived with all of my faults. I thank you for being everything and more than I deserve. My wife wore the same gown she was selling. We are writing our own story.

Image Credit: Yndira Dejesús

CASH IN CASH OUT

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Hi Dave,

My story is not a love story. What I am about to tell you happened this Sunday. I was making a call at the parking area at church. Actually, I wasn’t making a call. I saw a 2021 Mercedes-Benz S580 and I was attracted to it. I wanted to know who was driving it, and since church service was almost over, I went to stand close to it to pretend I was making a phone call to wait for the owner. Lo and behold, one of our associate pastors was walking towards where I was standing with a guy. I was still acting to be on a call with my mother when the guy opened the car to pull an envelope.

He told the associate pastor to give the envelope to our Founder Bishop. He said he couldn’t wait to greet him after church, because he had to be at the airport to check in. I couldn’t even get the chance to flirt with the guy; he was in a hurry to leave. All this while I was still on my pretend call. Pastor prayed for the guy and exchanged phone numbers. I followed the pastor after the guy had left. I saw him stash the envelope inside his suit. He went to sit behind our founder and was acting all normal. Dave, I watched the guy for the remaining 45 minutes of service; he didn’t give the envelope to our Bishop. After church I stayed to see if he was going to hand the envelope to our founder, he didn’t. You won’t believe me, but he left the church with the envelope in his suit.

Dave, I’ve always wanted to be close to our founder but never had the chance. He has so many people around him all the time. I know how our founder loves money; his eye is like a hawk when it comes to cash. Do I tell him what I witnessed to gain his friendship or I should mind my business?

Image Credit: Anna Nekrashevich

ACCIDENTALLY UNINJURED

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

My husband drives over the speed limit every time. We were attending his uncle’s funeral in Tarkwa. He was driving at speeds too fast for the road and traffic conditions. I was scared for my life, and so I told him to drop me at a junction. It became a quarrel but I insisted to travel on my own in a public transport. He dropped me by the roadside and sped off. An hour and 45 minutes later, our bus passed his car. He had been involved in an accident. I didn’t bother to get off the bus because he was uninjured, and talking to someone on his phone. His car was damaged though.

Dave, I was glad he was fine. When I got to Tarkwa, his family asked if I knew he had been involved in an accident. I lied; his mother asked again if I was sure I didn’t know he had been involved in an accident, because her son called to tell her that he had seen me in the bus when we passed. I told her I didn’t know about any accident. I called my husband’s phone four times but he didn’t answer. His mother and sisters started to give me attitude at the funeral. I left Tarkwa and his family’s bullshit after the funeral. I switched my phone off till I returned to my children in Accra. His best friend called me and I didn’t know he was with him, and that, the phone call had been put on speaker.

He asked about the accident and I told him what happened before we decided to travel our separate ways. I told him I was glad I wasn’t in the car with him because I could have been injured or dead by now. He jumped in the conversation to ask if I was happy, he had an accident. My husband came home two days later and he completely changed towards me. Dave, why should he have a problem with me thanking God for not riding in the car with him? I have already thanked God for preserving his life; but I am most grateful for my own.

It’s been two months now and he hasn’t slept in our bed. He has been sleeping out a lot and he does not eat when I cook. He has invited his mother to stay with us and cook for him. I don’t have a problem with that; but his mother disrespecting and calling me a witch yesterday? Dave, I will slap the hell out of her eh! Were they expecting me to have been in that accident with my husband? He wants me to disrespect his mother, so he can hold something against me. I am keeping my cool but that in-law is trying my last patience. This morning I was cooking for my children; she had the gut to take their food off the fire and started to prepare a meal for her son.

Who does that?

Image Credit: Artyom Kulakov

THE PICTURE

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Hello David,

My wife is dead. We buried her four months ago. I never believed I could say this but I am very disappointed in the bitter memory she’s left on my mind. I fell in love with a woman I now consider my soul mate. My wife was alive when this happened and she found out. We came to an agreement that we both went our separate ways to chase our happiness. Unfortunately, we could not begin with the divorce process when she died. But between me and her, we were over.

I wasn’t in Accra when she died. Our children were with her at the hospital. And I got to know later that she had shared a picture of my woman with our children. Mind you, my kids are 11, 13, and 15. Two girls and a boy. They don’t like my woman. They all give her attitude when I bring her home. I don’t know what my wife told them about her but knowing my wife, she polluted my children. I found the picture of my lady in the drawer of my second daughter. It is the same picture my wife confronted me as proof when she found out about my relationship. I know I will not allow the children I am taking care of to dictate who I fall in love with. They don’t have a say in this. What I am looking for from your platform is suggestions to convince my children their future step mum isn’t as bad as their mother said.

I don’t understand why they don’t want to give her the opportunity to prove herself to them. She’s a wonderful woman, Dave. I have never loved any woman as much as I love her. She makes me a better version of myself, and she will be the perfect mother to fill their mother’s shoes. What should I do? Because ending things with her is out of the question. I will marry her by the end of the year.

Image Credit: Cottonbro

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